Ep 19 - Psychology and Spirituality | Find Your Peace Pt2

foreign welcome to this psychology and spirituality a bridge to a better life discussion I am your host Marcia trejano and with me is my co-host josara congod who is the Secretary General of the international spiritus Council former president and current Vice President of the United States spiritus Federation for the past 30 years josara has been volunteering as a counselor in fraternal conversations for several different spiritist institutions and we're here together again for another episode of psychology and spirituality and went to uh thank our friends from the Camino who is bringing this episode to life please note that you can access the content of Camino via their YouTube channel the spirituality the psychology and spirituality program is also sponsored by other organizations and they are Ami Brazil the United States spiritus Federation the mancel de Camino is the non-profit organization behind the famous and the international spirit greatest Council I would like to ask all of you to subscribe to our conversations if you haven't already done so and if you are looking for additional content or information feel free to check us out at www.spiritus.us we talked a lot uh last time about peace and we're going to continue to talk further about peace in less time a lot of the content came from a very nice book called empty lives uh written by Joanna DeAngelis with collaboration by devaldo Franco today we're going to focus uh the topic from another book by Joanne DeAngelis the book called wake up and be happy specifically thank you josada specifically chapter 16 that talks about the struggles that we have in order to attain peace or that are in the way on the way for our attainment of peace uh please note you can acquire either book by going to layout publishing publisher which is the Publishing House of uh that uh organization from Brazil but male publisher uh spiritus book is uh here in the U.S and you can access that by going to www.lialpublisher.com so there we go

which is the Publishing House of uh that uh organization from Brazil but male publisher uh spiritus book is uh here in the U.S and you can access that by going to www.lialpublisher.com so there we go let's go ahead and talk about the struggles for the attainment of Peace are you ready josada absolutely Marcia hello everyone how nice to have you here again with us let's go find peace yes and I I want to just remind everyone that research says the two most imported or the two most sought after goals in life are peace and happiness and uh this is good time to say that peace and happiness are the subject of our conversations today for the next couple of weeks I'm really looking forward to break down those those two uh really important things in our lives but when we when we start to talk about struggle right struggle means what that all those things that come in our ways and yes humans as we are we fall prey to a little thing called complaining I I just want to say before I go uh forward I one of the most amazing books I've read a long time ago is called the title book is uh the culture of complaint and we're not going to talk about it uh today but it's very very insightful this psychological and sociological view about what happens when we become a complainer but what does Joanna DeAngelis in the book wake up and be happy say about complaining well she mentions that uh we all of us you and me we were created to love and to be loved we were not created to complain we were not created to demand we were not created by any means to fall in that uh pit of despair or to to in other words to to just go into the idea the notion of self-beauty oh poor miserable me I'm a victim right so it's important for us to understand that when we when we talk about this notion that the the the goal of life is not to suffer and complain but it is to love and be loved we start to to to to to look at our lives and we need to start really thinking about creating filters to understand am I complaining and if so

not to suffer and complain but it is to love and be loved we start to to to to to look at our lives and we need to start really thinking about creating filters to understand am I complaining and if so this is truly necessary right so it's just hard if you want to add before I keep on going because the subject is is quite interesting to me uh I think it's so uh important for us to talk about it because many times when we are thinking about uh the lack of peace that we have all the adversities that we have to face we think they they come to to us without any reason right this is why uh we keep on questioning why those things are happening to us and not happening with others right in a way you know selflessness this is what we think and uh and not understanding that everything that happens to us happens for a reason yes not you know if you do believe in a Creator the Creator is not you know throwing dices and saying oh this I'm going to send to Marcia and this I'm going to start digital sorrow or or somebody else you know it it every action has a reaction but we very rarely think about um the the things we are going through in life as being reactions of actions that we have promoted before and then we complain yes yes this is very very important and I would go further to know that uh in its Essence right so we're being very uh uh prescriptive here in its Essence complaining or the notion of complaint will either lead us to a sense of superiority right because if I go to I don't know um to a restaurant and I'm complaining it means that I expect right there's a sense of superiority I expect better from life from the restaurant from whatever the the the the event may be I am worthy more than whatever circumstances there in whatever life is given to me the flip side to that josada is that at the same time when I complain and this is something that's important for us to to reflect upon the flip side is that we can also fall into a sense of inferiority why because I'm the victim as we

at at the same time when I complain and this is something that's important for us to to reflect upon the flip side is that we can also fall into a sense of inferiority why because I'm the victim as we mentioned and as a victim of Life instead of looking at life given to exactly like you said the action reaction we are uh the Agents of that what what is what is that that we're dealing with but instead it comes to me and I don't look at my own strength my ability to overcome I look at it from a horrible sense of misery and victimization which leads me to that sense of inferiority I am less than and the expectation that I expect your compassion right my pain is so great my suffering is so large that people around me look at me because I I deserve your compassion and uh with that as you said I would like to to perhaps maybe change our discussion and refer to Along cardex Gospel According to spiritism because he's in that book on chapter 5 uh which is Blessed Are The Afflicted from the sermon of the mount we we are confronted with several ideas about complaining and it's really interesting because we ended our last episode uh quoting Jesus and and what he expects from us and but here again Jesus tell us happiness is not of this world remember that just said it it and we we wonder what what are we talking about Jesus what is happiness this is what I want and if we look at it from a spiritual lands we know that again no one right that law of action reaction again the Josiah mention no one is either victim or perpetrator we're just simply a result a reaction to something that happened prior so from that perspective our life is exactly as it should be right and it's important for us to understand that and it's important perhaps to know that even though intellectually we may know that we still fall prey to the Vicious Cycle of complain complain complain I am not happy just uh something happened someone Moved My Cheese right as as that book said someone and I think you mentioned

hat we still fall prey to the Vicious Cycle of complain complain complain I am not happy just uh something happened someone Moved My Cheese right as as that book said someone and I think you mentioned previously right someone is Rich or somebody's better looking someone is more powerful not fair and we say quoting Jesus blessed are the afflicted for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to them so josad I'm pointing back to you what did Jesus really tell us what was he talking about can you can you break down a little bit about this idea of blessed are The Afflicted is is that what he wants to be afflicted first of all that is establish the talk about about the price the reward what is the reward the kingdom of heaven and of course most of us coming from uh religious backgrounds we may have heard about heaven and how and so of course hell being the worst possible place one would go and haven't been the best place and uh in this sense uh we have to understand that Jesus is not talking about the physical place even here means or can mean among so many other things exactly what we are talking about today our topic to today that is the struggle to attain Peace So Heaven here is peace and understanding that when we are in a stage of already owning our mistakes our misdeeds right right yeah uh we are going to face the consequences of our actions like when it happened like it happened here right and uh the consequences of my actions uh for example if I act wrongly in relation to you Marcia and I say I have to say something to her I have to say that I'm sorry I mean it's it's not and it's not easy first to acknowledge then you have to go to your own my actions my mistakes and trying to make a man so it requires effort and all of this in our vocabulary today we call Affliction I don't want to go through that this is this is no or you know for those that are doing the AAA the 12 steps is it's hard right you have to go to you make commands uh with people uh acknowledging the errors

t want to go through that this is this is no or you know for those that are doing the AAA the 12 steps is it's hard right you have to go to you make commands uh with people uh acknowledging the errors you're committed in relation to them so this is what we call afflictions uh this journey back to the right track uh I deviated okay it was my fear will I do what I want you to do but there are consequences and and the thing is uh I I I I I I I I love this saying that we have here which is no pain no gain and not again that we are going to embrace paying Etc but uh yes it requires effort it requires all you know uh us taking those steps and this is uh represented the Affliction and it requires courage right uh the effort courage perseverance fearing so many things and the reward is once I do that like you know I wronged you and I feel bad and I carry this remorse and uh I want you to do something I don't do I mean for all this way that I'm carrying this load with me until I go and and acknowledge that and and and and talk to you I will not have peace of mind once I do that whether we want to forgive me or not it's no longer my responsibility I haven't loaded the burden that I'm carrying because of my behavior so I can feel in peace whether the result is what I expected to be or not the important thing is that I did my part and it it's like you said it requires courage that perseverance and and but uh the reward is very good I love it I love it right it's it's uh often I hear that uh um if you're Christian and specifically if you're spiritus Christian that you love to suffer right because of misunderstanding the quote the the king this Kingdom of Heaven Or For The Afflicted and and I I even want to say if that's the case if Affliction is that Road to Redemption right the road to correcting the wrong that I have uh caused the pain that I have caused to to me to you to anyone the question that we can perhaps talk a little bit further here in this attainment of Peace uh and

d to correcting the wrong that I have uh caused the pain that I have caused to to me to you to anyone the question that we can perhaps talk a little bit further here in this attainment of Peace uh and the Affliction that we suffer until we we un unload the burdens right do we suffer we are well do we know how to suffer josada are there mechanisms or or even support systems that will allow us to doing those times of Affliction to do better than just complain yeah I I think it all when you begin I uh actioning complaining right um and the this image that we have of ourselves that self-centered people that we are thinking that uh yeah I'm I am the center of the universe I deserve to be treated well and with respect when I'm myself not necessarily are doing that in relation to others so all of this if I bump with someone in the street will look like you know how come you didn't see me I mean yes yes and vice versa right it's exactly the same thing so I thank the can I say something sorry to interruptly because I love I love that image uh and and I I have I have to to bring the the idea of your cross to the street or whatever and you bump right you you ah what and and there's that on both sides how come you couldn't see me if I am carrying a white cane it's clear I don't see you it's clear I need you to see me in the whole discourse changes right the whole idea that how come you you did not see me of course not the other person's blind and I think this is very interesting because it can give us a a trick to our mind thinking that everybody that quote unquote bumps into US causes our pain in the process of living life may be that blind person that does not know does not see is not equipped to see the suffering that I'm going through or that is going through such suffering himself herself that it it it puts that person in position not to acknowledge how hurtful or doing wrong he may do back back to you I just uh this this came to me and I thought it was good for us to to think about it the

it it it puts that person in position not to acknowledge how hurtful or doing wrong he may do back back to you I just uh this this came to me and I thought it was good for us to to think about it the fact that we all somehow are suffering right jasada we are setting our values in in things that many times are not attainable and even if they are we can say from experience that uh like you know I I long so much for something and then I managed to buy that's that's something that that's that I want and immediately after I replace it from for for something else no there is always this discontentment that I you know now I have this but I need this now I have this as well but I need something else and and and so uh the I think the complaint ending is uh what doesn't help us in terms of uh achieving peace and um because of that that you mentioned we we think we we don't deserve and uh you know and people who are not helping us when the the opposite is happening we perhaps would not move a finger to help this those people as well so I I I I think you know in in this um conversation that we are having about uh this struggle of attaining peace is to come to the realization of how little we know how little we possess and how little we are able to master our own selves uh and the the thing is while I'm still placing my values only um looking at the material aspect of life I'm not going to achieve that because we live in this duology I'm a spirit I'm a spiritual uh being I'm and my ass is spirit I I have needs that have nothing to do with the material needs and and and and so we don't pay that much attention to that so when we were talking about you know trying to relax a few minutes every uh every day uh listen to you know a music that can put you in a state of relaxation read a good book engage in a in a nice conversation yeah reply to your messages in a good mood and not just because you have to quickly give an answer to to this or that and remember that it's baby steps yes we

d book engage in a in a nice conversation yeah reply to your messages in a good mood and not just because you have to quickly give an answer to to this or that and remember that it's baby steps yes we should just say oh I have result today that no matter what I'm going to attain peace yes I love it I love it and and something else if uh if the book you know I'm such in a in a sense of turmoil so much so that I don't have what it takes to to have that nice conversation to read a book to relax ah pray right prayer is an amazing mechanism to help us to to to attain some peace right and uh yeah yeah go ahead uh you know sometimes people say I don't know how to pray or I know in this state of mind I cannot pray so go to a temple of your choice correct yeah sit there and and breathe in that atmosphere uh and listen to other prayers or you know and try to benefit from that it's uh when you it it's like you know we are in a process of cleaning our houses okay you go room by room so when we are talking about cleaning like Juana de angelis says the mental the breeze that we have it requires effort because we have neglected yes in that area for quite so long that now it will require more effort more uh you know love and courage and perseverance like you said so we you cannot just cling uh you know make your house spotless other overnight when you have completed it for so long it is step by step but you have to start and the more we advance and the um more we are going to feeling at peace yes I I love to to hear that because it's it's I can even say it's a Zinger right but the the harder we clean our house right the more we do it the greater the reward so I think it's important for us to know it it we mentioned this before already but the the the more we do the better we become the more we we persevere the more we get it so it's it's that direct correlation of doing what it what we need to do and uh if I if I could uh I just want us to to pause here to maybe summarize uh this this notion of blessed or The

re we get it so it's it's that direct correlation of doing what it what we need to do and uh if I if I could uh I just want us to to pause here to maybe summarize uh this this notion of blessed or The Afflicted as in blessed are those uh don't hate me all of you but blessed those who have the opportunity in the occasion to prove their strength their perseverance their resignation their submission to the will of God their faith right and I think it's really important because that when that peace is attained then you know that you will uh be um you will attain an an access to the the kingdom of heaven but uh let's just go ahead and redirect again our conversation is that okay with you let's uh let's look into uh perhaps uh we're talking about struggles we talked about complaining we talked about the Kingdom of Heaven can we talk a little bit about uh the notion of uh what is within our control right because I I say this because all of us have something very precious which is our free will our freedom to choose our freedom to to change and if we we reference along cardiac in the spirit's book right when he talks in the law of Liberty it it cardiac in the book and we're given that uh amazing gem that amazing you know more so of of uh knowledge which is the the idea that in the freedom uh the many different types of Freedom there is one very very important in the attainment of Peace which is our freedom of thoughts our freedom of conscience our Free Will and I'd love to hear some of your thoughts about that ability to inhabit in a world that despite again that uh all the turmoil that are surround us but that we have that choice to be free yes sir and I'm thinking all this uh position that we find ourselves and and longing for peace um and like you said we are going to be talking about happiness right yeah uh we have to think that we are in control I'm the pilot of my plane yes and uh the choice is mine uh when I'm going to to the part which route am I going to take how long am I

ut happiness right yeah uh we have to think that we are in control I'm the pilot of my plane yes and uh the choice is mine uh when I'm going to to the part which route am I going to take how long am I going to where I will be going and and there is one on one phrase by the writer movie director comedian Woody Allen that I I like very much that he says that the only thing standing between me and greatness is me so greatness in this way the way we are going to interpret here and talking about psychology and spirituality is actually the to achieve the spiritual maturity Joanna de Angel is uh as she she mentioned something that when we finally incorporate into our habits the diet of spiritual growth yes so we all that have been you know I had to go to a diet at one point or another in our existence we know that it's something that you have to you know habits that you have to incorporate you know in this sense um in terms of uh first of all you know even to listen to this conversation it's your free will uh probably you are intrigued by how can we achieve peace and and to tell you the truth if we had the recipe for that gladly share with everyone we are you know we are getting uh answers uh right from Wise uh individuals uh that have been um sharing with us their knowledge their that is the result of their experience or of those that have they're having tracked the way and uh this is the best way for us to to learn anything not to experiencing pain ourselves when other already did and say don't go through this road because this road is dangerous so this is where our Free Will is in place when I'm thinking about I'm setting the goal that I will try to maintain myself Serene as much as possible of course of course according to the circumstances and even when sometimes the circumstances are challenging it doesn't mean that I cannot succeed in doing or uh what I uh what I can because you may be sad you may be impacted by everything but it's different than completely letting

cumstances are challenging it doesn't mean that I cannot succeed in doing or uh what I uh what I can because you may be sad you may be impacted by everything but it's different than completely letting letting yourself go and getting into a state fair or or depression or even up everything so it's your choice yeah yeah thank you this is this is this is so important right for us to to remember that the power of having the choice and no one no one can think that away from you and uh with that I just thought I think it's important for us to perhaps be reminded of uh uh uh the need to be very intentional about what we want uh right our uh our in in the awareness that uh even when we think and we uh exhale right is this this is this is the mental waves that come from us uh through our emotions our thoughts our actions all of it should be uh very intentional uh when we talked about earlier about the mechanism to to support us when things are not going so well uh the the medication for our souls include prayer but it also includes that intentionality mindfulness and uh in the idea of uh we're we're not left and you know in a state of uh being orphaned from our Father God right and again for the last uh just to wrap it up a little bit in this discussion that uh the law of Action Reaction just absolutely translate the effect on one hand you have the freedom on the other hand you have the responsibility right you have the responsibility that uh uh you exercise your free will but there will be consequences that you're responsible and accountable for that basically we reap what you so do you want to say something else yes yes Marcia I was thinking that uh in all of those processes that we are talking about developing in each one of those episodes we are uh actually uh wanted to emphasize that we do not admit need to go through all of this alone yes there is always going to be a a support group a support a supporting person you know being that you know uh a relative uh a friend a co-worker a a doctor a

mit need to go through all of this alone yes there is always going to be a a support group a support a supporting person you know being that you know uh a relative uh a friend a co-worker a a doctor a professional in the in the uh in the area of psychology or a psychiatrist I I think it's important for us to understand when we need to ask for help so we are talking about you know asking for a spiritual help when we collect ourselves and we we pray even when we do not use words but we just we just have this sense that we are going to you know surrounding and that we are establishing a direct line of communication with the you know high and uh but we have to address those issues as well in the material aspect of life so when life has been you know hard and and and and difficult for you to maintain your your your peace even you know hot lines that we may have that yeah you can have a conversation to a burden a little bit like sometimes we just need to advance we just need a crying right a landing shoulder for us to cry and so let us remember that um there are so many resources yeah thank you yeah sometimes when we are when we are going through that we become completely blind to all this even this uh a conversation that we have here that we are having with you is a resource because if you're listening if you're thinking about it uh and and and and just by knowing you know everyone goes through that uh not necessarily as good as others but we are not competing here correct we are competing if you're not doing that well that that okay right now don't blame yourselves there are moments in life that we are more uh fragile than in other moments and uh this is when we require more attention more guidance more support So reach reach yes love it thank you thank you for that and I Echo wholeheartedly uh Reach Out reach out to your friend to your family members your social network reach out for um Healthcare Providers uh Mental Health Providers anyone that can help you through those moments that you feel more

t reach out to your friend to your family members your social network reach out for um Healthcare Providers uh Mental Health Providers anyone that can help you through those moments that you feel more or unbearably uh vulnerable so uh this is this is important uh no one is undermining the pain that not being peace is there right so uh basically we're wrapped up here uh in the early comments with uh that attainment of Peace requires struggle uh I'm sorry it requires effort right energy and sometimes going through being aware that we're struggling so uh I wanted to to to tell everyone that uh Joanna DeAngelis in in her the materials that we are using for today's talk she she gives us this beautiful invitation to to understand that all of our efforts right she invites us to imbue all the things that we do with love which translates back to what you're saying earlier josada when you talked about mindfulness right just just be mindful be present be loving loving to yourself into everything that you do and I often think to myself how do we do that right and she uses her favorite Joanna D'Angelo uses her favorite one word that has so much packed into that one word she just says be patient be patient my dear be patient my friend be patient and keep on fighting to achieve that goals through uh your efforts right so uh as we are we're coming to our final moments of our conversation I wanted to talk about about uh the fact that uh when we want to achieve our goals right uh uh we we have our goal and we have to work for it and sometimes we even have to fight for it and I think you mentioned earlier uh uh in our conversation that it's all about going through whatever with a sense of Tranquility right and what she means by that in my mind is avoid getting trapped in the Whirlwind mental emotional Whirlwind that life can trap us in so just death who is peaceful today or every day I certainly am not what if we want you to tell our friends we're listening to this conversation with us today what can we

wind that life can trap us in so just death who is peaceful today or every day I certainly am not what if we want you to tell our friends we're listening to this conversation with us today what can we tell them is uh what we need to do and I know you already talked about it but uh when we think about perhaps uh we most of us in in this whole wide world need to work right we have responsibility we have people that we We Care our daily bread if you will those just caring for a day-to-day responsibilities we can surround ourselves with so much negativity so much of it which alludes to that Whirlwind and mental and emotional Whirlwind what can we do to to be better to to to be able to uh find our goal and stick to it what are your thoughts I think first is to have a positive attitude for instance say I am not say I'm getting there right I'm getting there as well you know uh there is so much for us to to learn and to grow and we couldn't possibly say that at this stage of involvement we as human beings as a Spirits we we feel peace and happiness we have moments peace we have moments of happiness and with my uh my choices I can aggravate or I can uh reduce all those uh negative emotions right so sometimes I I lose my patience I I I don't have peace of mind for trivial things I think things that should not even be a momentive of our concern and then again we are free to choose whatever we please but sometimes you know we just lose for nothing right or like you know the bump in the stretch I lose nothing someone bumped into me in the street and I'm going to lose it and not knowing that as you mentioned this person may not be blind but but uh physically speaking but at that moment was blind by their their suffering absolutely I'm aggravating the situation because I'm I'm not being tolerant with uh with the whole situation here and even the the the title of this book that we are analyzing today uh this chapter by Joanna DeAngelis is a wake-up call because she says yes happy be happy so

t with uh with the whole situation here and even the the the title of this book that we are analyzing today uh this chapter by Joanna DeAngelis is a wake-up call because she says yes happy be happy so what is the formula here is it the wake up not to to following the automatism of life you know going with every one in their negative way of thinking and um and and not resisting uh and and trying to see the light there is always two sides in a coin I I choose that am I going to look at right yeah uh there is uh one story that's very beautiful I don't remember the reference but they say you know if I go uh uh uh and and look at the window I can look at the sky and see the stars or the Sun or the the bright uh blue of the sky or I can look down and just see the dirty and and you know and the worms there are there I mean I am the one that is going to choose uh the perspective of my side of the vision that I want to have for my life and although this cannot guarantee a hundred percent happiness or peace for us definitely it's going to prove so much um our mental Outlook the way we are going to be able to remain in control when situations arise yes I appreciate that so much and uh I'm thinking um about a message that John Paul II uh Pope uh Catholic pope uh two three popes ago right so I remember uh and it was quite an uproar because people did not understand uh the the notion of heaven and hell outside of the conditioned uh way to approach it as a place that you go right depending on what you do but John Paul II I believe was 1999 he he he says right that rather than a place hell indicates the state of those who freely and definitely separate themselves from God that is the source of all life and joy and this is a beautiful reminder for us uh rather than a place the notion of lack of peace or hell is how we decide to remove ourselves from a state of being well with God or not right to say God goodness who are not religion at the representation of God is ultimately goodness yes so when we uh

ell is how we decide to remove ourselves from a state of being well with God or not right to say God goodness who are not religion at the representation of God is ultimately goodness yes so when we uh stray from goodness from righteousness is when we don't attain peace so is when we are going to be living in this mental health or mental heaven and I think it was uh such a a turning point for uh Christian people all over the world that that could understand what he was trying to say listen you are so worried about you know what comes in in in in next in life you know after death but the thing is you are the ones imprisoned yourselves now in a Hell depending on your attitudes or liberating freeing yourself and living in fullness if you go in the in a with goodness and again like we we've been saying here so many times it uh all those Concepts that are no longer just to restrict to any kind of religious philosophical beliefs um if we follow you know the laws that we already have they certainly are going to lead us human laws they are going to lead us to this path as well capable of following the human laws yes amen love it love it we're getting there and this is the message that we want to live with we are all of you wake up okay and be happy yes oh well the you know the with everyone else just to make your own role you have your own goals now and this is the best way for us to feel peace is when and at that moment at the day that you go to bed like I say and you put your head down in your pillows and you say I'm content with my behavior today I love it it is peace love it and before I close I just want to read the the citation from Joanna that you mentioned before josada that is so beautiful let us free from all mental debris let us uh be still and clear the proverbial soil of our minds that we have neglected let's show with love and charity let us fertilize the soil with our rational Faith through the words from Jesus but also understanding the immortality of our spirit so from that I want to say

eglected let's show with love and charity let us fertilize the soil with our rational Faith through the words from Jesus but also understanding the immortality of our spirit so from that I want to say thank you thank you for being here today we'll see you next episode and until then hope you have a blessed week goodbye bye