Ep 18 - Psychology and Spirituality | Find Your Peace - Pt1

foreign welcome to the psychology and spirituality a bridge to a better life discussion I'm your host Marcia trijano and with me is my co-host Jose is the Secretary General of the international spiritus Council and former president current Vice President of the United States spiritus Federation for the past 30 years josada has been volunteering as a counselor in fraternal conversations in many spiritus institutions I want to thank you for joining us and remind you that today's episode of psychology and spirituality a bridge to a better life is brought to you by our friends at mansando Camille I would like to just take a moment to describe this amazing organization so the valdo Franco together with news or warmly known as Uncle Nielsen founded this work of light of love in Fraternity in 1952 in the city of Salvador Brazil they created a small building and they called it commune in reference to the casa de Camino of the early Christians the organization under the guidance of divaldo and Tio Nielsen or Uncle Newsom flourished they contributed to the intellectual moral end spiritual Improvement of thousands of children and they received from this nest of love a unique opportunity of a dignified and happy existence over time the early homes were replaced by school school groups professional training workshops and other social promotional activities that support the underprivileged children adolescents in adults from the nearby low-income neighborhoods and they provide them with education as well as free of charge of meals so today about the 3200 Children and adolescents go to school there and they receive an addition of other needy adults and elderly people and I believe the current count is about 5 000 meals a day so this is just amazing and I want to say that in addition to masando Camille the psychology and spirituality program is also sponsored by Ernie Brazil the United States spiritus Federation and the international spiritus Council I would like to take this opportunity to

Camille the psychology and spirituality program is also sponsored by Ernie Brazil the United States spiritus Federation and the international spiritus Council I would like to take this opportunity to ask each and every one to hit subscribe if you haven't done so and if you'd like to check out any other information on other channels you can check it out at the www.spiritus.us channel if today's topic is of Interest we want to recommend you to read other books and specifically for today uh empty life uh empty lives I'm sorry which it has a very interesting chapter chapter four uh specifically about finding your piece which is the topic of today thank you josada for showing the beautiful cover of this book if you want to acquire this books and you are in the U.S you can go to layout publisher spiritus books at www.lialpublisher.com and here we are to talk about finding your peace why don't you start today talking about well you know generally speaking how life life on Earth today there are so many issues that we go through and they somehow they become impediments to this inner sense of Peace can you tell us a little bit about it yeah sure but let me first say hello to everyone and to you Marcia it's um very good that we are here again and continuing this work and this uh you know conversation because there is so much that we want to know and that we need to learn in order to really find peace and I I think it's one of the things that every everyone is looking after right uh we I I remember hearing in phrases like I don't even care about love as long as I have peace as I find peace right because uh without peace it's very hard for us to be able to love ourselves but to love others and of course to be really productive and participate participating well in the world so um as we have been saying in other episodes we we are living very difficult times on our planet and I I you don't need to hear that from me right uh we we all know that we are all experiences in this kind of turbulence that is taking

r episodes we we are living very difficult times on our planet and I I you don't need to hear that from me right uh we we all know that we are all experiences in this kind of turbulence that is taking over uh planet Earth it's if it's not a pandema it's uh Wars or it's political disputes or you know a changing in moral values for the worse and all so many things that we question in terms of their efficacy for us to find peace and to be happy within ourselves right so mostly uh being very much because we are social beings and being very much influenced by the environment but every by everything that is happening around it's very difficult for us not to get involved yeah and uh you know this uh all the the the the problem is we are having around us and in our personal lives as well very very good yeah and I think um maybe what we talk about is right uh we end up in this world of turbulence as you mentioned all of these things coming to us all the time it can cause us not only the sense of uh not having peace but actually emptiness right I think that's what the book that you're showing empty lives really tells us uh uh uh it's an invitation for us to to to look at ourselves and and pay attention right uh how how how are we living uh what about the perhaps even that sense of loneliness that we may have that uh that is felt and many times actually hidden by some um but I wanted to maybe if we can dive a little bit further uh on the you know we are we're amazing at masking problems we're suffering all of those problems but we want to look good right we want to take our selfie let me pay attention to take a selfie and we look beautiful well though this is just one of many coping mechanisms can we maybe talk a little bit about what we do and this is we General right generically speaking uh what we do to have a sense of I I'm not feeling so well right I'm having all these issues what can I pretend to be better and I use as as those mechanisms that is a you know those behaviors are a

g uh what we do to have a sense of I I'm not feeling so well right I'm having all these issues what can I pretend to be better and I use as as those mechanisms that is a you know those behaviors are a product of what we are seeing around so look at the news uh first of all we will be receiving a lot of information that is quite disturbing because those things are really happening I'm not saying that they are creating those things but sometimes they even emphasize a bit more and create a sense of fear and hopelessness that uh of course we are impact in the way that we feel in achieving inner peace and are also distracting ourselves too much with everything that is happening with others here the point is not to say you know let's be oblivious to what is happening around us and and and do like the ostrich you know my my hand in the sand and there's nothing is happening around me right no as things are really happening we we are social beings like I said participating in the society so we will be involved in all this but the thing is in order to achieve peace we can filter uh what am I going to be really focusing on uh like sometimes you know you you you turn on the TV to watch the news and there's a lot of bad news correct they they don't they don't um uh talk too much about the good things the good Enterprises that are happening in the world today but but they are there and today we have Google and we can go after you know though there are apps or there are newspapers and magazines where you can click and what you have interested in learning that is happening you can even select what you want to do so the thing is because many times just to distract ourselves but there in a bad way not necessarily good one we we wind up promoting gossip discussing things about trivia things that shouldn't deserve any kind of significance from any kind of impact on on us and this is when uh because one of the Angel is in this book also you know lead us to think about what we are doing

ngs that shouldn't deserve any kind of significance from any kind of impact on on us and this is when uh because one of the Angel is in this book also you know lead us to think about what we are doing with ourselves because trying to feel a whole that we have with moving sense not gonna happen it's not gonna help us so this is where there is this existential crisis is this emptiness and somehow we every time we hear how much the population worldwide is growing away with you lonely yes and um and and just not to miss what you you ask it about I think that sometimes you know that in Psychology we talk a lot about uh this uh trans transference and transferred to others what I see myself yeah I think that sometimes this need that we have in terms of you know posing for those selfies like you know I'm the man why you are because you are a child of God but you know it's like it's not for the world it's for me to believe that I am what I I'm I'm portraying in that moment yeah and for a split of a second I will feel that I am that person and not feel the you know the happiness the anguish that I might be feeling uh but in this sense if we think about that it's a good thing you know yeah yeah and say I am that person I I have the potential of being this beautiful person a smiling person yes it's not just for a second when I'm shooting a a photograph right I don't know yeah no this is this is this is amazing right as it illusory is that selfie maybe is a representation of a moment Frozen in time of what I am not but like you said you said but what I want to be right be a a transference it may be projection whatever it may be that is is yeah it's it's pushing me right it's pushing me to to feel better when I don't and I think that's not a bad thing like you said I love that um and uh and we know that uh if we talk about illusion illusion can take so many different shapes and forms right we can we can talk about the illusion of power the illusion of beauty the illusion of uh of strength of

now that uh if we talk about illusion illusion can take so many different shapes and forms right we can we can talk about the illusion of power the illusion of beauty the illusion of uh of strength of control or whatever that may be and uh and whatever it is it's the still very much an egoic response to how I'm feeling right but let's let's shift the subject because you talked about uh Society uh and and perhaps um uh technology right and and I keep thinking just added that we both of us live in the U.S right so we talk about Western Society we are so privileged we have access to so much Innovation to so much technology and and they Wallace right they they every day there's something coming up and and uh uh I don't know if you if you remember you but I I work for Healthcare Company currently and every day every day we come to work and there's like this amazing new uh Innovation to treat the health of us you and I and an entire humanity and it's like wow this is amazing but but as much as we have all of this coming in toward us there are perhaps some unintended consequences of all this technology can we talk a little bit about uh perhaps the demands of this technology that we are all you know exposed to and how they perhaps change our behaviors maybe I don't know if this makes sense to you yes absolutely because since we are talking about finding peace uh this is at the same time that like you said Technologies is amazing it and it's so great I mean especially for us right Martia that we we didn't grow up with this technology this is like you know 30 years old right so everyone that is has more than 30 years we didn't grow up with that and now at the same time that is it's such a blessing it is amazing and all the possibilities that we can have it imposes us to uh to respond to everything with such a speech that is actually uh um a thing that that may prevent us to find peace for instance yeah I don't know if happens with you but with me when I receive an email or or a text or

erything with such a speech that is actually uh um a thing that that may prevent us to find peace for instance yeah I don't know if happens with you but with me when I receive an email or or a text or um you know any kind of communication if I don't respond right away I feel bad in a way because I know that the expectation on the other part is that I physically answer because you know now you have the technology to answer back to me right away yeah do you know what they call this they call the electronic leash right you go everywhere with some sort of device yes that pushes us to to feel bad if we don't respond in the nanosecond to that in essence A disruption right yeah and the thing is we all have Lies We all work we all you know something like it's not because I can see that I got a message from someone immediately and sometimes this doesn't even happen right sometimes what I do is uh I I I I live my my phone on other rooms on purpose I I will not be tempted to or feel pressure to have to to you know right back to respond right away and this is the one thing that you know can video to not feel in peace because there is always expectations and and and people start and some people they really do that they start building up uh ideas why she didn't reply to me right away uh God forbid and it's it's going to take more than a day right I mean and I can even imagine how it was before that you had to send letters I don't know how long for you to receive the ladder and to be able to reply and to have a response and now it's all like this and the thing is because uh we feel all this pressure from society from France from family we um wind up uh prioritizing yes uh doing that instead of you know taking time to think about ourselves out of needs now what I need is just to say it and get a you know listen to a nice music or do my imagination or read a nice book I need time to rewind and I mean what and it's feel better about myself so again we are not talking bad about technology on the

you know listen to a nice music or do my imagination or read a nice book I need time to rewind and I mean what and it's feel better about myself so again we are not talking bad about technology on the country it's it's a privilege like you said but um this is again our choice as knowing how to deal with that prioritizing ourselves first yeah and then um giving us time to to do what we have to do and not to feel this pressure that we will wind up not allowing you to feel good or just in peace right I love I love that you talk about what about uh you know even our lifetimes 30 years ago what about 50 years ago 100 years ago and we just keep coming back to the days where um you know to to accomplish anything there is time and and I I just thought no just the father came to my mind there's a there's a reason why a mother does not have a baby overnight you know there's those uh months of pregnancy to adjust to to the new state of from being a woman to being a mother or a family a larger family right and and I feel that in many cases there is this new movement going on for slow cooking right because we don't have time to to sit and Savor a meal so so I think uh while technology is there and we can talk about microwave we can talk about uh ready-made we can talk about all sorts of things that that give those things that give us uh time they rob us from our time because there's just too much so I love that you said it is our choice we must learn if it's not a skill set that we have to prioritize this is the time to respond this is the time to be available but this is the time to take care of myself right but going back to to this this misuse of Technology that we talked uh similar to something that is good is something else right which is uh body image um in the pursuit now of uh Beauty in Youth and all the availability of uh types of things that will deter old age right when I I was just thinking just started don't laugh at me but I I'm very close to the age that I I remember my grandma

outh and all the availability of uh types of things that will deter old age right when I I was just thinking just started don't laugh at me but I I'm very close to the age that I I remember my grandma the the time that I remember my grandma the most my age and all I can remember is this soft cushion of a person full of wrinkles completely gray hair and it is the most person that I love the most in my life is is this woman and and I'm like whoa I'm there I'm there but there is um a societal demand for me not to be what is natural right so can we perhaps talk a little bit about another wrinkle to that impediment of finding peace in our self which is the the the Absurd focus on a artificial body image yeah again Marcia thinks we are talking about you know psychology and spirituality talking about you know uh prioritizing the ego and it it it's it's good because the the the way we are leading our conversation here uh we are showing aspects in our lives they are very present and orange uh that are actually things that prevent us for from reaching this piece like when we say I cannot control what is happening around me yeah uh and uh the world today it's been uh very challenging to all of us but it doesn't mean that we have to give ourselves and just go with this wave of negativity hopelessness uh this is one aspect within we mentioned as well about uh the demands of Technology uh because even when someone asks you something and uh and you you you you uh you don't know the answer right away immediately they can say why didn't you Google that first right I mean you feel this obligation to to to have to to have all this in information should be uh you know standing and sick encyclopedia yes um and and and this is another thing that like I said it uses our time each the man says a great deal of attention because we are giving more value to that than to actually do what we have to do how many times we see on the streets you know or you go in a restaurant or something a a child wanting to talk to

ention because we are giving more value to that than to actually do what we have to do how many times we see on the streets you know or you go in a restaurant or something a a child wanting to talk to the father of the mother no stop wait wait that I'm doing something important or what is the message that you're sending to your child when you are doing that that I mean doing something important I cannot talk to you you're not important or this is important than you are so and and not you mention the The Habit that we will be printing in this child as well say well my parents used to do that and this isn't the normal way of Behaving or adult Behavior we can see child with uh small fake smart owners right calling and imitating their parents and asking us to stop because they are talking over the phone or something you know so all of those things are things that pressure adding pressure and impression and less peaceless piece of mindless peace of mind and what we're talking about the demands of the ego in this aspect of you know physical appearance is hard as well because again is us only focusing on the material aspects of Life yeah yeah I'm so worried about what others are going to think about or what kind of answer should I give to this text or how am I going to position myself politically speaking uh but uh how am I going to present myself and worry about my physical appearance and we are barely doing or touching the surface of moving deeper into our unconsciousness and try to see what is there who am I and what I'm are my needs and what if I I I don't want to you know she'll keep on prolonging my appearance of Youth and here and it's not a critician for those who who try to do something you know like ourselves right we die our hearts right don't tell him yes yes that is in relation to death but everything and and when we were talking about you know how little uh uh we are doing things and important things uh in a relaxed way I remember that I I had the privilege of

s in relation to death but everything and and when we were talking about you know how little uh uh we are doing things and important things uh in a relaxed way I remember that I I had the privilege of watching live here in New York City yeah and uh most of his talk was emphasizing about the need of being mindful yes so when you are eating this is what you're doing so Savor the meal when you are talking to a child this is what you're doing talking to a friend going into your work driving now we want to drive talking over the phone looking at everything that is happening around or that it doesn't concern that it's necessary necessarily you know just paying attention at the road so it's just too much it's just too much and how can we find peace like this if we keep on pressing ourselves if we uh every every stage of life we keeping thinking um not valuing ourselves I I remember that when I I I reached I I think it was 30 years old and then it happened again when I I came 40. uh I look back and I said oh my God I used to see so many physical flaws in me and myself when I was 20. I wish when I was 20 and then like when I got reaching 40 I look at back and I said oh my God I I was really good in my 30s I'm not I'm not I was not seeing that I'm really happy with that and so from that moment on uh I I said you know what I'm I'm going to be happy because today is the best version of myself it's it's it's that simple sometimes yeah you you made me you made me think of my my father who you know is turning a hundred in a couple of months and uh and I remember about 10 years ago big party he's he's turning 90. and I asked him uh dad can you tell us something that you want in your life now that you're 90. what is it that you won and he says oh I wish I was 70 again and I love that because for all of us 70 is an old man and for him at that age he could see all the good things that he had while he was 70. same for you right and uh I think most of us go through the same thing where we look

or all of us 70 is an old man and for him at that age he could see all the good things that he had while he was 70. same for you right and uh I think most of us go through the same thing where we look back and we actually learn about how critical self-critical we are how do we do we uh fall prey to to this unrealistic expectation of beauty uh Fitness uh wealth etc etc so the question that I I would like for us to talk perhaps is yeah go ahead go ahead it's important for us to mention that all of those topics that we are talking when she's talking about finding peace she talks about you know what what is happening in the world uh the pressures of Technology the pressures are of you know uh being in your your best shape of physical King all of this are points that that we see uh reflect so much in our spirituality in our spiritual mind and peace of mind right that's a very good point so the question I was just trying to to to to to get to a point what can we conclude when we talk about all those things right those uh so-called impediments of of being peaceful finding our our sense of self uh uh you you you you mentioned that uh mindfulness is one mechanism to to to to to to be in the present right but what can we conclude what is it uh that we really need to be able to reach that sense of I'm okay the world may be falling apart I think you started talking today about conflicts right Global conflicts we talked about wars we talked about the pandemic we talked about so many different uh uh constraints that we go through but how do we maintain or reach and maintain that sense of Peace despite all of these around us what are your thoughts um one of the things that Joanna liangelis makes it very clear is that peace doesn't mean absence of worry ah very good points right yes so it doesn't mean like you know when we say oh or or we usually have have this or hatch this image of you know getting married and lived in a White House with Picket Fences and all of this and garden no we are not talking

e you know when we say oh or or we usually have have this or hatch this image of you know getting married and lived in a White House with Picket Fences and all of this and garden no we are not talking about that we are talking that and this is one thing that that she says first of all and not to be deceived by appearances because sometimes you may see Serene Waters but the currents underneath that's right are very very dangerous so it doesn't because we uh we are smiling and and talking in a soft voice that we are really Serene or in peace of mind and um but of course it also reflects someone that actually has achieved this kind of state I think in the the current stage of a vote that we are we will have our ups and downs the thing is how can I maintain myself more in the up than the down one of the things that uh she suggests is that we we we we we we don't complain that much about the struggles when we are called to rearrange things put things in order this requires action this require commitment is required psychological maturity for us to really know the steps that we have to do another thing that she mentions about is for us to try to promote happiness other people as well in terms of uh donating our time ourselves you know uh of of of Charity doing good to others uh and there is a one one phrase that I remember from Chico's Xavier that uh actually uh the spirit Emmanuel told him that the best thing for us to overcome uh or best Court of Ash action for us to overcome our own problems is to start thinking about other problems not to compare but to start you know helping them and then when we engage in Noble actions we will leave the ego behind it's not only just me me me me uh I I even remember a passage where he uh he has a sister that is is in the hospital and he's outside the hospital and he's there kind of in Despair and crying and then his spiritual guide Emmanuel shows up and say why are you crying that much what is happening and he looks at the spirit with kind of uh

e hospital and he's there kind of in Despair and crying and then his spiritual guide Emmanuel shows up and say why are you crying that much what is happening and he looks at the spirit with kind of uh right yeah what I have to tell you but yeah he knows how it works and then he says well my sister is ill in the hospital and then he had this mentor of look at him and says and this is a hospital why are you thinking only about your sister what about all the other rooms that have people suffering as well and then he composed himself and understood that he couldn't think only or he shouldn't think only about himself about you know his sister's personal life and I I think this is what also uh you know motivates us to do good things and and uh I I've been working for a non-profit organization for 22 years and um many of the volunteers it's commonplace they come and say I I I was feeling so depressed that I was feeling so restlessness of so restless and and um I I had to to to go and look for something else and they start volunteering their time and their their their possibilities and uh thinking I I I'm going to help others and they without a doubt I've I I have gained so much more than I have given and so this is is commonplace it can give us a peace of mind this give us you know this uh self-fulfillment and that's why she says the best way is accept that there are yes challenges and struggles but you can and have the possibilities of keeping uh uh the control and the will of your life love it you don't you just you know lose control of your vehicle you know you can't control even when it's it's hard so it's that uh it's at a psychological stability that he mentions right is uh uh is the the the lever by which we we attain our own sense of realization which will lead us to real truthful uh sense of how uh peace because the illusion that we talked about the distractions all of this are not real but that when we feel you know that I've achieved the authentic goals of my life then there is

sense of how uh peace because the illusion that we talked about the distractions all of this are not real but that when we feel you know that I've achieved the authentic goals of my life then there is realization in there is peace so I I love what you said here yeah going or being the captain of uh uh a vessel uh performance Waters if you despair for sure you and everybody else is going to drown yourself Serene I love it and and persevere and hold on to the well and say no we are I I sometimes you know I have to sway with the waves I have to go the way the waves are are I mean are taking me and I may even you know lose my roots for a moment as as we take control and accept uh man calm Waters will come back and then you take the the course again but then the the main thing is to keep control of yourself as much as you can you can okay we know that is so easy for us to talk about those Concepts and and um and not all the time we we we have uh this kind of control but this is another thing that she says that is so beautiful do not be discouraged by obstacles or afraid of falling failing at first failures Foster the skills you need for Success indeed mm-hmm so let's let's repeat that failure Foster that needs to success you will need for success in the end yes so so uh it's very important because we if we look into that lopsided perspective it's a it's really truly an illusion uh the perspective that you have to be uh powerful and never fail if you don't allow for failure then it leads to a lot of uh self-admonishment right where oh my gosh I'm no longer what I'm supposed to be in all those things really take away our our sense of Peace our sense of Harmony in us our even sense of uh acceptance right when we uh the the the opposite from that is that road to self-discovery where you open yourself to what those flaws right to to the struggles and the failures and the struggles and more failures but in this Peaks and failures as you mentioned earlier we lead to a different state from the one that we

hat those flaws right to to the struggles and the failures and the struggles and more failures but in this Peaks and failures as you mentioned earlier we lead to a different state from the one that we started but I wanted to maybe we have a couple of moments I don't know if we have time I was going to talk a little bit about how how divided we are but I'll strike that and I'm gonna ask you um do you think Jesus because Jesus is our model right he's our brother he's our most uh perfect example of of a human on earth what do you think Jesus would say to us about peace yeah that there is even this phrase from Jesus where he says uh uh my peace I I give to you not the peace that the world knows but the piece that I have uh and it's a very intriguing estate because uh we are still wondering what you really wanted to say with that so the things that the way that we interpret that is is understanding that is not the Peace of the world meaning the achievement of beauty like you said having the best technology at hand or or just thinking about successes in in life and in power and all those things that pertain to the material specs of life but it's funeral right sorry but ephemeral they are ephemeral yeah yeah exactly because you see you you sometimes and this is a way and I think again when we are talking about you know uh uh peace doesn't mean not having Wars or a Serene contents contendence doesn't mean that the person is in peace we may see peace people that we think that have it all in life and if we are go uh uh talk to them they will we will see that this is not so that there are things happening in their lives I I I remember many years ago one story that I heard and that have um uh being very strong at the time with me there is this singer Barbra Streisand and uh I mean one of the best singers that we have and um and you know beautiful voice movie actress of course uh uh with power money and I have a Prestige and all of that and and in this um uh thing that I was reading about her it

ingers that we have and um and you know beautiful voice movie actress of course uh uh with power money and I have a Prestige and all of that and and in this um uh thing that I was reading about her it was sad it was saying that she struggled with a drug addict son and and that she made this statement that she would trade everything that she had to save so you see this is uh the the piece that Jesus is talking about that is not about material things ephemeral things like you said uh it's exactly everything that we see in terms of the teachings that he left to us I mean you know in terms of um trying to to be good to uh to to to act in Brotherhood all of those things that will approach us each time more to fill this inner peace that's beautiful yeah no thank you thank you I I feel that uh we can perhaps wrap it up right because uh uh if you and I and all of us who are here today uh we we are seeking peace all we have to do is uh follow his steps right uh look for that peace that he he says for us to to for to look forward but I want to say just out of thank you thank you for such an enlightening message I really really look forward to a continued conversation around peace next time we meet and with that I say goodbye everyone goodbye