Ep 152 - Family Ties: Unlocking the Spiritual Secrets of Your Home

Hi everyone. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening wherever you are in the world. We want to welcome you to the psychology and spirituality bridge to better life podcast based on the works by Joanna D'Angelus. We meet weekly to explore this uh crossroad, this intersection, if you will, of psychology and spirituality with the focus of uncovering those pieces, those nuggets, those gems that we find, those those timeless wisdom that can help us with meaning and purpose in our lives. My name is Marcia Trean and with me is Yudi Caster, my dear friend. Welcome back, Yudi. How you doing today? >> Thank you so much, Marcia. I'm doing very well. Hello, good morning, good afternoon, good evening to everyone listening or watching us. >> Very good. Thank you. So Yuri to to today I would like to talk about why family life can feel so complicated to so many of us. Why for example there are certain patterns that keep repeating and I'm talking generationally speaking right uh we inherit from our parents who inherited from their parents so on and so forth. So today I would like to explore with you Yudi the mission if you will of the family uh through the teachings of Joanna the Angelus and my thoughts are three-fold but of course it's a conversation uh perhaps exploring the bonds that connect uh parents, children and siblings. Um another point could be how uh when we talk about emotional conflicts if they remain um repressed unresolved right uh hidden away uh how they affect those relationships not only at home but uh beyond the home environment and if we can close with some practical insights I'd love to hear from you for from your practice, from your knowledge as well. Uh how can we leave today with some nuggets about uh healing, understanding, and even strengthening our families? Shall we start? >> Absolutely. I'm excited. >> So, I have a question for you, Yudi. uh how does spiritism view the family as this uh karmic and evol evolutionary unit right there is a those are the

s? Shall we start? >> Absolutely. I'm excited. >> So, I have a question for you, Yudi. uh how does spiritism view the family as this uh karmic and evol evolutionary unit right there is a those are the bonds that are that put us together but how does it evolve or help us grow >> great question Marcia I think you know just to clarify when we're talking karmic we're talking karma and this idea that everything that you know goes around comes around this idea of action and reaction as spiritism has taught us so well. So yes, it is if we think of a karmic unit as as a way to describe the family, we can think that we have done things in the past or things have been done to us in the past and therefore we need to be in a certain family to make sure we're strengthening those ties or we are writing the wrongs that we have done or that others have done towards us. So there's always this big purpose from the standpoint of the love of our father, our heavenly father that the family can be considered this karmic quote unquote karmic units in the lens of spiritism. meaning the people that I have around me, my parents, you know, if I have siblings or in my case I have children, all of those interconnections or spirits that more often than not have been connected in the past and now are continuing in this journey and like you said also this evolutionary unit because >> yeah, >> we are always marching forward. Would you agree? >> Yes, I agree. I I it's so of uh so interesting and we've had a couple guests here to talk about their children and how um they came in a dream to before they even knew they were pregnant, right? They come back in a dream and and can you imagine that? just almost like knocking at the door from a spiritual perspective telling, "Hey, I'm here and you're going to be my father or you're going to be my mother." I love that. And uh in fact, a dear dear dear friend, this is decades ago, uh her child is already ready to go to college. Uh but uh um and they tried and tried

ather or you're going to be my mother." I love that. And uh in fact, a dear dear dear friend, this is decades ago, uh her child is already ready to go to college. Uh but uh um and they tried and tried and tried to be pregnant and they couldn't. And then uh sure there's this little girl that comes to her room say hey uh we're ready to come and uh and uh she said later we're talking about maybe when her daughter was oh 12 it matched the dream that she had so many years prior and I love that right that uh that bond that unites us all before before you're ever born, right? So, love it, love it, love it. Yeah. >> Before and also with the purpose, you know, everything as we talked about even in previous episodes here, there's >> there's always a purpose for, you know, our reincarnation. And when we think reincarnation, we're thinking of the spirit that is an immortal spirit coming back into an earthly body >> to continue on his journey, his or her journey. So therefore, we can think of the family as being this evolutionary unit because we're all trying to evolve as a unit. We're all trying to evolve as this this uh group of spirits of immortal spirits >> who are on the same path to improvement. >> Yeah. And and uh you know I started by saying that why is it so complicated, right? Can we maybe talk about is this because there's that karmic and you say quote unquote right because karma we inherit the word from eastern philosophies but the karmic bond or is it because we we hurt each other in the past willingly or not or is it because of our psychological immaturity or all of the above? All all of the above. We hurt each other more out of ignorance than out of just simply being evil. As Jesus told Peter, you know, human beings are more fragile than evil. >> So if we think about our fragilities, if we think about all the mistakes we have done in the past, and by the past I mean yes, a previous life or previous lives plural. So we can think that we there must be a way for us to

ur fragilities, if we think about all the mistakes we have done in the past, and by the past I mean yes, a previous life or previous lives plural. So we can think that we there must be a way for us to >> to give back or to amend those bones that we ourselves have broken due to our ignorance due to our misdeeds >> and that is the family. That's when people come together and that's why we have so many >> uh families there there are high conflict families or high conflict units >> because they have their history goes all the way back and they have this sort of sometimes antipathies or even animosity and they don't understand why because in in the current life they may not have done anything that would justify that sort of sentiment that negative sentiment but if we look through the eyes of spiritism, we're going to see that there is this karma. There is this thing that whatever goes around comes around and we need to make the m amend for the mistakes that we have made. >> Yeah. Uh you you you remind me of this family. It's so funny the dynamics right uh of that family because it's a large family like mine uh uh I think was six plus children and of course we we always talk about the black sheep. we have this there's all the roles that we uh almost archetypical roles that we we take on as uh member of a larger unit. But in this case, uh, mom and dad worked and they did everything to provide and there's one uh of the the the children that was always um outside of the the boundaries, if you will, or the limits of what this couple could do. And uh so from a family dynamics almost uh um the story that kept repeating was they would all get together and speak about this one child. Right. There you go again. It just this this is the novel that kept uh I guess it's not a novel. I could say a soap opera, right? A Mexican soap opera, folks. Really dramatic. Just oh this is the new chapter. Oh, this is the new chapter. and I I got to to talk and um I don't know if you know me enough in that

soap opera, right? A Mexican soap opera, folks. Really dramatic. Just oh this is the new chapter. Oh, this is the new chapter. and I I got to to talk and um I don't know if you know me enough in that realm um Yudi but I you know I'm very patient I don't usually will would confront but in that time I confronted the mother >> right >> because she caved as a mother usually does to the needs she would whatever and then it becomes a father for the family to to to talk about it as her venting for caving. So, a lot of mixed feelings there. And I remember telling her, this is again long time ago. And I said, "Listen, right?" And she did not believe in reincarnation, by the way. Listen, I believe in reincarnation. And I don't care if you do or not, but apparently apparently you owe this person something that is now expressed by this spirit in this incarnation to ask for so much, right? There's this this sense of um I'm not saying starvation, but uh lacking, right? There's this need for something to be filled. It's your choice to to do it, >> but if you do it, stop talking about it. And you know what, Judy? >> Never again. Never again. And actually, I don't know if I was inspired in that conversation because it's really not like me to be so strong to an older woman. >> Uh she was much much older than me at the time. um but it kind of led to healing in the entire family. So I think we need to to to to to think about it. Am I uh adding to the problem or am I solving the problem knowing as Yudi you said uh we come together with a purpose. But uh in addition to all of of this that is uh age old right as old as humanity itself we have to perhaps think about it modern families they do face challenges more in in my opinion um like um emotional disconnection right so that's number one number two is maybe u the idea of conflict conficts over like this example of material priorities or even social priorities and I'm including um the the proverbial that we we keep seeing the evil of this but it's not folks but

idea of conflict conficts over like this example of material priorities or even social priorities and I'm including um the the proverbial that we we keep seeing the evil of this but it's not folks but social media the the whole appearance those social priorities that is is becoming on top of the relationship right the those connections And and of course uh because of the distancing, because of the disconnection, because of those conflicts, we are now seeing that those affect a affectionate right effective bonds are weakened. >> And uh this is one point. The counterpoint to that is that as we we read from Joanne as we read you you mentioned spiritism and it's a body of work uh we are reminded that uh families has this immense potential to heal right oh yes to guide us toward this emotional um and psychological maturity. So I wonder uh if we could maybe talk about uh uh from your perspective what are the main psychological conflicts that you see happening within the families today or that perhaps because we are both students of Joanna D'Angelus but that Joanna D'Angelos brought it up as well. Great great point Marcia because there are there are you know we know psychological conflicts are tied to spiritual but if we just stick to the psychological >> piece of of this puzzle let's call it of these conflicts that arise in family we can think of things like you already mentioned social media so maybe like the role of the of distraction of you know should how much attention should I give to this child or how much attention should I give to this parent and there are all these these psychological conflicts that can come as well as how much uh how much should I how much time should I spend or invest in my career versus being with my children. You know the balance. I I feel like striking the balance >> creates a lot of psychological burden because parents often times we see them >> strive and Joanna talks about this. We see them strive to grow professionally grow grow but then at what point is that

creates a lot of psychological burden because parents often times we see them >> strive and Joanna talks about this. We see them strive to grow professionally grow grow but then at what point is that just ambition like personal sort of selfish ambition versus oh I'm just I just want to provide more for my family. And this is a if I interrupt you here without interrupting your your train of thought, but this is huge, right? The the the push and pull the positive and the pros and cons here everyone. The positive is it's much better in my opinion being judgmental here, Yodi. Don't judge me for being judgmental. But the process to see that uh mother and father united in that um that resolve I'm going to work. I'm going to provide to the best of my ability better than one that is neglecting right the child. >> So this is this is good. But if we flip to it when it's exacerbated when it is become and and you mentioned greed >> right we can even talk about a highly competitive society that we all live in how uh putting a mix of materialism another mix of individualism and more of consism it is a terrible soup to digest if you will. But if you look into this uh culturally speaking, how we are more and more pushed to not just provide and do the best for the children, but to be the best in the competitive landscape of a professional life, whatever it may be. And that uh puts you to uh prioritize the wrong, right? Prioritize the that professional context versus the familiar context. >> Yeah. >> Back to you. Sorry if I interrupted you. >> No, no, great point. We made a parenthesis. I don't think interrupted just a parenthesis because it is it is true. The ba balance is key as always, Marcia. And I think that a lot of the times like I was saying >> how much you know you mentioned you know also in my practice with with families and things that are not related to spirit spiritism but a lot of the times we see parents just striving to like I said >> oh I want to give the best to my

u know also in my practice with with families and things that are not related to spirit spiritism but a lot of the times we see parents just striving to like I said >> oh I want to give the best to my children so I'm working extra shifts and I'm working uh extra hours and in the end you're not giving attention or love to your child because you think that just because you're able to provide an extra trip at the end of the year. What about the rest of the year that you could have been with your child and you didn't because you're working because you thought that was best. So >> yeah, >> that's something I think for all of us who have families to try to >> try to reflect and see how how much how much psychological conflict is is arising from let's say guilt. Oh, I'm not giving enough or I'm not >> being a a good father. I'm not being this enough. I'm not being a good enough husband. So the the famous good enough, you know, not not being that. So I think a lot of psychological conflicts can arise from that as well. Don't know what do you think? >> I I I I love that you're going there uh back to that family, right? Uh maybe the good enough is not good enough, right? Because that spirit that is born in that family no matter how much you do it's never enough because there's this uh how can I say this vacuum this hole that the spirit unbeknownst to the current personality in history doesn't know but there's this craving for more and that craving may be I need more attention I need more material things I need more opport opportunities. I need more consoling and and you've seen that I don't know if you've seen that in in your practice but there is that and there is the other aspect which is and this is very important to me because I mentioned this before everyone I'm a recovering workaholic right so this discussion really it's right here in my heart it just gets to to to me in a very uncomfort comfortable manner but I am and I re you know and it was this this balance did I

ing workaholic right so this discussion really it's right here in my heart it just gets to to to me in a very uncomfort comfortable manner but I am and I re you know and it was this this balance did I do too much did I become a workaholic because I needed to provide and did the need to provide became workcoholism if you will because I needed to compete or egoically speaking right u or that that was the only way to survive I don't know but my my source of uh consolation is I gave my all. Yodi and this is for anyone who's here with us that may be falling for neglect, a conflicted environment or workcoholic parents. It doesn't matter if we see that we're doing our best, our all based on what we know, right? because it's also uh what I learn from my that uh generational from my family, right? And and and and my cultural um uh environment because it it's different uh if you're born I don't know I'm just going to pick up a country here in what's a good one in Saudi Arabia versus uh China versus the US. Even in the case of the US, southern versus northern etc. very different contextually speaking in how do parents and I'm not talking about mother father adopted mother adopted whatever right those contexts are the given the best may not be considered the best for the child but is the one consolation I gave my all I could always done better right yi always there is never a perfect mother, perfect father. No, >> but but it is the sense this is perfect to me because that's all I had. >> And also this while we're still here, there's always time to to, you know, make changes too. That's something that >> Yeah. >> Sometimes, oh, for the last five years, I I I neglected my child is okay, you're still here. They're still there. Like make changes, you know. I think that there's >> if we dwell too much on the past, we we lose sight of the present. So we we can't be just >> looking back and regretting and and whipping ourselves in the back. The lashings for because we >> we did poorly or it was not enough. We

st, we we lose sight of the present. So we we can't be just >> looking back and regretting and and whipping ourselves in the back. The lashings for because we >> we did poorly or it was not enough. We thought it was enough. But the thing is there's always time >> to make these changes. So these reflections are very much like I think in line with this idea of >> making the changes and that we can now that we have more knowledge and looking inward to see am I am I giving my all like you said am I truly giving my all >> or am I giving what I think society deems to be good and you know and not but not what my children actually need. >> Yeah. And uh and I I I think it's it's funny. Um I don't know why I don't know why, but uh The Great Gatsby came to me uh because if we in the if we think about it uh novel, right, fiction. Um but if we we discuss parenthood as this moral failure when it is embedded with emotional neglect right but uh I think the the the topic of that novel it's all about how emotionally irresponsible and self-absorbed in that case very wealthy parents are right But uh um I think we need to maybe think about ourselves, right? Am I being morally irresponsible? Um I am I being uh self-absorbed in whatever path I am or am I using the construct of a family to really learn because it's all about learning and growing together, right? How can I do this? And I wanted to throw something to you just to for for the sake of uh amusement or picking up on the conversation, but what about um children of those wealthy Great Gatsby like uh uh parents that uh they don't have time in this case because they're socially unavailable, right? But despite if it is because of work and professional life or social um we see sometimes that children some children they end up growing up um with that maternal paternal bonds being outsourced to paid caregivers. Right. And uh and uh how how do you think I is this a something that may impact their uh psychological emotional well-being, right?

th that maternal paternal bonds being outsourced to paid caregivers. Right. And uh and uh how how do you think I is this a something that may impact their uh psychological emotional well-being, right? >> It it it probably will impact or probably has impacted as Joanna says so well. These are, you know, even though they may have the best of intentions, these are >> these are professionals. These are people that will maybe teach a lesson but not necessarily give it with love or not with the love that the child needs. So when we >> when we it's it's called outsourcing, right? When we outsource that that that aspect that is so important >> for our evolutionary unit. >> Yeah. >> It becomes it becomes a danger. But again the key word here I think is balance. Is balance. Am I am I outsourcing all of the attention that my child needs and all the playtime and all the the driving to after school programs whatever to someone else that education all tutors you know they are surrounded by very skilled and caring professionals but it that none of them can ever replace a parent none of them >> back to back to the family got together with a purpose right so those spirits that are together they there's a purpose does. So we we we I'm going to be crude here. We don't breed for only for the continuation of the human species, right? Mhm. >> We have children because within that familiar unit based in love and education uh we're also healing some areas or aspects that we bring into that uh that um environment. >> Absolutely. So when we again when we go too much to the extreme it can become neglect as well. Even though it doesn't seem like neglect from an outside perspective like oh they're giving everything >> to their children they have they have all of these professionals around them 247 but what about the parents? What about the the actual love the actual attention the actual uh care that those spirits are meant to have between one another? And now we're outsourcing all of that. To what extent? So I can get my

What about the the actual love the actual attention the actual uh care that those spirits are meant to have between one another? And now we're outsourcing all of that. To what extent? So I can get my child the I don't know that the this is the example I've used actually. So I can give my child the latest iPhone because I worked extra to be able to afford that. But what if I what if they have the same phone they have now and I gave them more time instead of giving my time to get more money to purchase something else, you know? So it's >> it's the balance. Again, we go back to this idea of >> of balancing these professional responsibilities or balancing the the professional ambition and the actual or or the social life of the parents as you mentioned with The Great Gatsby. Gatsby >> with the needs of the family. >> Yeah. Yeah, The Great Gatsby um comes to my mind as and this is unfair to everybody including including the writer, right? And and uh and characters of the novel. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Um the the fact that uh uh Great Gatsby, which we could say the royalty of the wealthy of uh the jazz age, right? that time in in where there is incredible wealth. But uh I I see that potential fictionalized relationship of self-absorption and uh neglect and outsourcing the care of the the children uh also in potentially and this is again judgment here everyone uh those um uh in in America right royalty is uh those famous actors and actresses performers etc uh singers uh that uh amassed a lot of power, image, influence, etc. But they need to be gone a lot, right, in concerts or movie. And and I just keep thinking um how difficult it must be to be able to to put on quote unquote the show, not quoteunquote, it's literally the show. I put it on a show and but uh to do that uh my my child loses a week without you know with me uh which is akin to to the latest uh gadget electronic or not that is out there and that can be even uh uh the bigger house it can be there's so many material trappings right the bigger

u know with me uh which is akin to to the latest uh gadget electronic or not that is out there and that can be even uh uh the bigger house it can be there's so many material trappings right the bigger house the bigger the bigger resort that I go visit or the longer that I go And all of those are in this budget of uh financial means and time that we need to understand what what is it that we're doing and what are we not doing to be able to do that right. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And always always remembering the psychological ties that bind us all like every everything has a purpose. We are here with a purpose. We have our family. There's a purpose behind that. And the purpose is to ev to evolve because our our our heavenly father is one of mercy and eternal love. So we are here for a reason and we must strike that balance before getting too lost in >> in the or getting lost in excess in the things of the world. All all all of the the glitter, all the glamour, all of the >> you know for those who have lots of money, everything that you can purchase, but I can purchase more. I can purchase a second one. I can purchase a better one. I can upgrade and we go in this materialistic and you say consummis like this materialistic side of us >> that we still have and then we may end up neglecting our children or neglecting our parents, neglecting our siblings, oures and that's >> that's the danger I think. >> Yeah. And uh for everyone you're not alone, right? We are all victims of this art and science of the sale, right? We are more and more >> uh taken by the glitter, the movement, the lights, the the the music, if you will, all the orchestration of creation of desire. So it is something that uh we've we society speaking become really good at it and uh we society members of society become victims of that. It's okay but we're here talking about it. So uh we can no longer claim ignorance but but uh it is really wellcrafted and it it just captures us and after a while go like oh what how did I get so behind in in what

we're here talking about it. So uh we can no longer claim ignorance but but uh it is really wellcrafted and it it just captures us and after a while go like oh what how did I get so behind in in what I need to do. But let's let's maybe spend a few minutes before we start closing in our conversation today to talk about uh um the the perhaps the the root cause if you will of those uh and we talked a little bit about it but let's I would like to go deeper perhaps on those um psychological conflicts in the family right and we we're talking about uh um our egoic constructs we talked about our unmet needs. We talked about generational patterns, but can we can we maybe just get a a a view of what are those psychological conflicts in the family and how can we learn enough about ourselves so that we can do better, right? >> Yeah. Yeah, the the know thyself that we already when you mention it, I have to think of that, you know, this this >> journey of self-discovery because if if we just keep things under the rug or if we just sweep the the stuff under the rug, it's still going to be there. It's going to form a mound that's going to become bigger and bigger and bigger. So those conflicts when they arising either uh conflicts that are personal conflicts meaning like things that are individual to me or conflicts that are more collective conflicts and things like that that can arise and if we don't if we don't address them if we don't treat them it's like you said they're they're still going to be there and we're going to be seeing those conflicts erupt and the problems erupt in family as we have seen so much even >> even even nowadays I think that with with technology it's impossible not to mention like technology like said social media, all these things that are pulling the worst from us as well. And we're we're becoming >> interesting falling prey or becoming victims to those things and with these psychological conflicts that we don't even we don't even sometimes are not even aware of.

well. And we're we're becoming >> interesting falling prey or becoming victims to those things and with these psychological conflicts that we don't even we don't even sometimes are not even aware of. >> Yeah. And uh I often this is this is a side note everyone I am on a personal note I undergoing um this difficult cycle in my life of uh seeing my parents and in-laws aging and in some cases dealing with cognitive extreme cognitive decline where uh you know you may not even recognize your spouse or your children. But I was just um over the weekend going through um seeing despite all of the the construct of your personality in this case uh without the memory of of to contextualize how I act in the social filters. Um it was so beautiful Yi to see this person um despite all of it could not remember anything else but the docility the gentility the respect to others that this person was always there right and I thought oh that's what I want for me I want when I I no longer remember anything what remains is a gentle heart. It's a respectful heart. And uh and I think maybe uh when we're talking here, it made me reminded because we h we carry so much. If you were to take all the filters, if we're taking even your memory, what does it stay in our hearts? What percolates? What is that dayto-day that is the core of who you are? And so back to what you said, know thyself. It is so important especially from a uh when we talk about uh uh psychology right if you have the courage and this is an invitation for all of us including myself to have the courage to look at yourself and peel away not only the masks the filters but also the fear of looking at everything that uh is not that we don't like about ourselves so that we heal those pockets of uh um repressed memories or even repressed, judged and tucked away aspects of who we are. >> Absolutely. Because the more we know ourselves or the more we have the courage courage to look inward. >> Yeah. the the more able we we will be to deal with the conflicts to be able to

who we are. >> Absolutely. Because the more we know ourselves or the more we have the courage courage to look inward. >> Yeah. the the more able we we will be to deal with the conflicts to be able to first of all what know what they are realize that they are there >> and then ask ourselves okay what do we need to do now to improve reminding ourselves that we are on this journey to evolve nobody here >> is perfect nobody on this earth has achieved the plenitude of the spirit of a Christ yet nobody we're all full of mistakes full of of junk under the our rugs and we must we we we must be able to peek in and and start to remove that and start to understand what's going on and process that. >> Yeah. And and I love what you said because plentitude to me is it's the word that defines Jonah D'Angelus, right? She's always bringing about this this planitude that is for all of us, right? The sense of being whole, being full, if you will. Um but uh what is so interesting is also from Joanna D'Angelus is that she is regardless of what uh uh book you're reading um she always brings this notion that uh uh the moments of conflicts the challenges the difficulties the painful moments as well are really our best opportunity to to understand and reconcile with ourselves to to to start that emotional healing because when everything is masked and filtered and touched up uh we don't see it right it's almost if you think and this is again maybe another crude and I I I apologize in advance but maybe that person that is beautifully made up like I'm talking about as a woman as a aged woman, right? Where just beautiful and your hair is done and in not only uh I think it was actually another uh image that came to my mind that I thought was funny. Uh Jane Fonda, as you know, she's in her 80s, >> and she was not so long ago in a series of Frankie and Grace, Grace and Frankie, whatever. >> Oh, yeah. >> Right. And there's one scene that I thought it was so difficult uh to to watch because she's a

nd she was not so long ago in a series of Frankie and Grace, Grace and Frankie, whatever. >> Oh, yeah. >> Right. And there's one scene that I thought it was so difficult uh to to watch because she's a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful woman, but uh and she's facing the mirror and then she starts to take off. >> Did you see? Do you remember that? The extensions to make her hair fuller, right? So she start and take one and take all and and it was just this very almost slow motion in my mind at least of that and then she goes in and there's there's a thing that she had underneath her hair that pull her skin. So, so she took it out and then the skin just sags and then she takes right and she she goes into that and then takes away and becomes bra in this case the you know woman in her 80s and and I thought wow what a powerful powerful image and so from a Joanna D'Angelus is we got to see those so that in this case not in in the series everyone but let's pretend that uh there was a scar right and I'm talking about here scar physical but alluding to an emotional scar right and there's this huge scar and uh and in this unveiling of the age I'm also taking away the the makeup that hides away that scar And that scar facing that scar to myself and to the world perhaps is really important in that know thyself that selfdiscovery that selfhealing process right so I just thought maybe we can comment about it lots of movie illusions here sorry everyone >> but but the the example you gave of Jane Fona that's that's I think >> shows the courage to look and you have to look in the mirror you have to be able to to to know the true self, you have to be able to know uh self is lower lower s um lower case s. the idea of like you have to be able to know what you truly are like what your your conflicts are because then you can you can't address them if we just spend all the energy all the effort trying to hold this mask >> of of I'm all good like I'm I'm the I'm all this I'm all that you know it's just

because then you can you can't address them if we just spend all the energy all the effort trying to hold this mask >> of of I'm all good like I'm I'm the I'm all this I'm all that you know it's just it's just going to be like that makeup it's going to be things that fade away and then what we left after we live this >> after we leave this earth this this body at least and we go back to the spirit plane. What do we have? What have we acquired with ourselves? What have we what have we changed within ourselves? How have we changed the family around us? The the blessing of a family unit. How much impact have we done and how much time and effort have we spent? >> Yeah. >> In that family unit. >> Yeah. So just finalize because I mentioned that we would let's talk a little bit about uh some tips on healing all that those wounds and and those uh conflicts and those uh paradoxes if you will between I give it all but uh there is a a starvation mode in in in one of the two. It can be the mother to the child the child to the mother right. It can it can be either direction. how how can we apply some of the teachings that uh Joanna the angels in this case gave gives to us in in some of her work. Um can we talk a little bit about it? Um right I I can start I can start right just simple gestures everyone right >> simple gesture of uh uh saying I love you and mean it. I have to tell you uh generation speaking uh and I I I speak spoke over you so my apologies Yi but uh um before my mom passed and and as you know she's Brazilian and and uh she spent many many months uh four months in total in the intensive care just before she passed and uh and so I I went uh to see her five times. It was just very difficult period of me but crazy Marcia because in the US it's very common for me to say I love you right not for my mother's generation not for her >> right and and so I said okay in Portuguese I would say I'm here I love you and she would respond and this went on for the whole duration of while she

ight not for my mother's generation not for her >> right and and so I said okay in Portuguese I would say I'm here I love you and she would respond and this went on for the whole duration of while she was there and she was coming back and then she recovered for a few moments before she passed. And it was so funny because that was my way to say I love you. I'm verbalizing. I care for you. Uh and and then the joke became everybody start to do the same. I have a big family. Everybody. And then the next joke was who is she gonna say I love you back? >> Oh. Ah, right. So, finally one day she says me too in English, not in her native tongue. Me too. And I'm like, that doesn't work, Mom. You got to say it. And one day she said it. And it was this burst of applause. You can say, you can verbalize. I'm not saying that you need to go because I think it's disrespectful if you think about it for me to to push upon my culture belongs to into my mom. Uh but what are the simple gestures, right? Is it caressing? Is it a kiss? Is it a hug? Things like that. But uh tell me more. Do you have any any practical tips for us to to heal those wounds? have to heal those wounds. I think from from a macro standpoint, I was thinking first remembering that we're all immortal spirits. We had had a past before. We'll have have a f we'll have a future together as well. So >> having that sort of uh viewpoint I think changes a lot because then I can focus okay I'm here to evolve just like they are. So what can I do? And I utilize we can utilize the same thing you said. Start with start with small gestures. Yeah. >> Start with small changes. Don't go and try to uh turn your life upside down and make all these these big changes because we see that sometimes it's hard to keep them up. So, start with small changes, expressing love uh in your own way, being able to be there for your children or for your parents or for your siblings, just >> being there for them in what they need and understanding what people need might

sing love uh in your own way, being able to be there for your children or for your parents or for your siblings, just >> being there for them in what they need and understanding what people need might be different than what you think that they need. So I think that's that's a big tip that I have as well for >> for people wanting to you know unlock these these like you said the secrets the episode the secrets of these spiritual secrets of the family you know. >> Yes. >> Family ties >> and uh to me if I expand a little bit what you're saying um um guidance right uh yeah >> what a what a gift >> and I'm reminded of St. offenses of Aisi, right? When he said uh uh teach the gospel, the good news that Jesus brought to us every opportunity and when needed use your words. So to me that's a profound profound uh teaching in terms of uh how we must teach by example. How do we demonstrate say patience, honesty, compassion, vulnerability? But those uh ethical and moral guidance are really key for us to to to present our children, right? >> Yeah. Perfect. Be the be the the change you wish to see in the world basically. >> Yes. Yes. Instead of preaching, preaching especially for parents now instead of preaching preaching be the example. Be that change. Show the difference. >> Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. And and I think you mentioned this before, right? Uh use the conflict as a gift to see reconciliation and forgiveness now. Not next time we're together. No. As a family. Now. Address and address them gently. And there's no need to to to grin gestures of uh we're going to stop everything to to to deal with this con. Let's do it gently. Uh how do I understand? Again, St. Francis come to my mind. How do I understand more than seek to be understood? So on so forth, right? >> Perfect. Love that. >> So we are at the end of our time. I could stay talking to you forever because I love our conversations. Judy, do you have any final thoughts before we conclude today? >> Know that everything happens for a

e are at the end of our time. I could stay talking to you forever because I love our conversations. Judy, do you have any final thoughts before we conclude today? >> Know that everything happens for a reason and the reason is love. >> Yeah. Beautiful, beautiful. And I just would say um right what is my contribution? um let's be the active agent in that familial dynamics right how can I >> yes >> uh contribute to ensure happiness if there's no happiness possible harmony if it's harmony is not possible understanding if understanding is not even possible hi how can I with all that I know be the agent of our um evolution and growth, right? How can we perhaps even transform our homes that whatever is the status of the home it is today it's for all of us to think about it and and give it like I baseline today I am a one let's say jokingly but how can I transform it to a two or a three or five out of five stars right how can I ensure there's love how can I ensure Um there is uh education of our souls >> collectively and individually or even in even evening even our spiritual um growth and awakening right so for everyone out there thank you for being with us thank you for listening right it's all about uh this discussions that is really it touches us all when we talk about family and um if this is the first time you're here with us, uh just be reminded that the psychology and spirituality weekly talks are based on the works by Joanna D'Angelus. And uh uh we hope that we're able to convey some of her beautiful teachings about family today. And I would like to thank you Uni for being here with me. I forever grateful. I also want to thank our sponsors, Monia, the United States Spiritist Federation, the International Spiritist Council, and I mean Brazil. Brazil is the Brazilian arm of the Global Medical Spiritist Association. Thank you everyone and we'll see you next time. >> Thank you everyone. Until next time.