Ep 148 - Beyond Words: Autism, Love, and the Spiritual Evolution

Hi everyone, welcome back to another episode of Psychology and Spirituality. I'm your host Marcia Trojanu and today I'm joined by the brilliant and insightful Rafael Fedi. Hi Rafael, how you doing? >> Hi Ma, pretty good. Thank you so much for having me here again. It's a great pleasure and honor. >> Wonderful. Wonderful. So good. But uh just to give you a sense in the last few episodes in fact, but uh specifically the last one um we've been exploring um the topic of family dynamics and how they shape our emotional resilience. And uh I just welcome everyone here today to go into this um maybe uh deep dive session into the challenges and blessings of family life. And today specifically we're going to talk about parenting autistic children. So Johnny the Angel calls the family this spiritual constellation which can really shift our perspective right because we're not just talking about blood relations we're talking about this union of spirits each with their own path of evolution. So from this spiritist perspective, the family is meant to be a place of what? Fraternity, love and most importantly growth, more growth especially. And if we think about it, every conflict, every misunderstanding is actually an opportunity for evolution. And this is particularly relevant for parents of autistic children. Daily life may involve stress, misunderstanding, and simply put exhaustion, right? You're just exhausted with life. But those moments are also the best opportunities to practice what? Patience, empathy, and unconditional love. And that brings up our central question for today. How can any family, especially parents of children with autism, navigate conflicts, disturbance while fostering love, understanding, and spiritual growth? So, Raphael, I'm going to give the mic to you and ask you, would you mind talk a little bit about uh autism or autistic spectrum disorder, ASD? And um and then I would love after you give that framework of what it is uh we can move on to your personal story on that. Would

d talk a little bit about uh autism or autistic spectrum disorder, ASD? And um and then I would love after you give that framework of what it is uh we can move on to your personal story on that. Would you mind? >> Okay. So thanks again for having me Marcia and uh hello everyone. Um so talking about autism it's a very special topic to me and you're you guys are going to know soon pretty soon why. But autism, I mean, you can see it's dramatically increasing. The incidence is increasing um each year. And uh the big question is why? Uh that's what I've been uh asked all the time. So people come to me and say why is um I I see so many autistic kids now. And um and that's obviously one point is diagnosed that has improved considerably. but also something else is going on which we don't understand um and we're trying to but autism in general what I like to tell parents and everyone it's not a disease so autism is a neurodedevelopmental disorder that happens in some kids in a way that their brain um shapes differently from a normal typical uh child but the point is that I like it's a more philosophical question is um what is normality? So we all want everyone to fit what society think it normal means but for those kids uh they see normality they see reality or life in a different way that we must respect. So that's the first thing and another thing I like to say is for a mom for a dad don't be um don't feel you know guilt or don't blame yourself for having autistic kids because many people say autism is caused by genetic disorder. It's a genetic disorder but in fact we cannot say that there is there are genes involved but we consider a condition that is poly polygenic which means that so many genes involved not only one. So you cannot establish a cause based on uh genetics. So that's one of the points and now we know there is three levels of autism level one two and three and level three is the most severe which requires substantial very substantial support from family from um um everyone around.

s and now we know there is three levels of autism level one two and three and level three is the most severe which requires substantial very substantial support from family from um um everyone around. So level two it's a moderate support and level one it's a mild support. So those three levels are uh important because treatment can change based on the level the kid is. So in level three which is the most severe it's where we find those uh kids who are nonverbal for example. So they don't talk. Um they have other coorbidities for example seizures or epilepsy diagnosed and this obviously brings a little bit more challenge to the family. But in general, so as ASD or autism, including also ADHD, um dyslexia and many other conditions that it's part of what we now call neurode divergence. Um and and that's the name I think it's the best name we could give it because it's divergence, right? So it's not the same as most of uh of us. And uh Rafael I just this is from memory because at work we we do have a newer divergent employee support group right and uh and they are amazing uh there's many many many talks explaining what it is what it is not and how for example I if I have ADHD right how different I am in in terms of external stimuli to uh somebody with a different um uh type of brain, right? I guess I I'm I'm saying it correctly. But anyways, one of the things that uh I heard from one of of those information sessions was that 80% of Silicon Valley employees are autistic >> and and I thought it was very interesting uh because I would say high functioning autistic children now adults but they are the best and the best for that type of work. Yeah. >> So I thought it was so so interesting. >> Yeah. They usually the autistic uh people they're very smart um rationally talking but the the the problem is the emotion. So connecting um you know the the um rationality and the emotion. So that's the biggest challenge we have to face. Um that's why also they tend to be very secluded, very

he the problem is the emotion. So connecting um you know the the um rationality and the emotion. So that's the biggest challenge we have to face. Um that's why also they tend to be very secluded, very introvert. So they don't they have difficulty in socializing. So those are are some symptoms we see in in autistic kids and and obviously grown-ups too. Uh but you know it is possible um if you diagnose early to um somehow change it or adjust that kid to society which is not I mean obviously it's a hard point because sometimes it kind of make this kids um stop shining because even though you don't think they're shining but they are shining the way they are. And when you try to put things, you know, close everything around, they must uh fit society that somehow affect them a little bit. But on the other hand, they need to eventually they're going to grow up, they need to work, they need to be independent. So you need somehow have a training, but always respecting the child's pace. So that's one of the things I also tell parents. Um listen to your kid. Don't try to um to uh rush things, you know, it's gonna happen. So, just go with the rhythm. Um they show you. And so, that's um uh one point. It's like uh most of them are very very smart, but they also have this challenges and they can have like in terms of uh symptoms, they may show like repetitive behavior. Um, as I said, uh, difficult in socializing. They cannot make eye contact. It's really hard for them. Um, and sometimes they're very anxious and that's why they keep doing those movements sometimes with the hand, sometimes like going back and forth. That's like to control their their anxiety. Um, and some of them um are very agitated and have insomnia, for example. Others are more depressive. Um, you know, it's it's really that's why we call it spectrum. It's a huge spectrum. >> Yeah. >> Huge. Huge. >> And I know for for parents, especially if you're a first- time parent, uh, it must be very difficult not to understand

that's why we call it spectrum. It's a huge spectrum. >> Yeah. >> Huge. Huge. >> And I know for for parents, especially if you're a first- time parent, uh, it must be very difficult not to understand and I'm going to say air quote here, what's wrong with my child? Why why is he or she crying so much or not being able to sleep so much? Right? >> Yeah. And the and the big and the big and the biggest challenge here is for the parents to accept the possibility they have an autistic child in their home. >> So that's one thing they need to understand because what I feels like most parents because they don't understand what autism means. They kind of feel they afraid of going to the doctor and doctor say oh your child is autistic but that kind of you know delays the diagnose and everything else. So it is important that one the first signs for an autistic uh child is when they're breastfeeding. >> So if they don't keep eye contact with mom usually usually is the first sign that the baby that child will have some u neurodedevelopmental um disorder. So that's one thing, but obviously not always this the case. But it's just, you know, don't be afraid of having a child with autism. It's actually a privilege. >> Yeah. Yeah. I want to to go with that next, but uh um you're saying, you know, go and get a diagnostic a diagnosis of whatever is is may be uh happening to the child. What type of doctor would a parent take their child? >> So the first one is the pediatrician of course. So they go to the pediatrician and um explain what you're feeling, explain what you experience at home because in a you know 30 minute 20 minute visit it's impossible for u the pediatrician to actually diagnose anything. So usually he's not the one who's going to do it. he's going to refer you to another professional who has the ability to diagnose with tests they have. Um but the first person to go is the child's pediatrician. So that's the first thing and and and I'm sure the doctor be able to um direct the parents

has the ability to diagnose with tests they have. Um but the first person to go is the child's pediatrician. So that's the first thing and and and I'm sure the doctor be able to um direct the parents to the right professional to have a um certain and and definitive diagnose. >> Yeah. So let's uh let's just uh pivot a little bit because uh you you said autism is a very special topic to you. So tell us tell us why is it a special topic to you? >> So you know my childhood was really challenging as well. So at that time you know I was born in the countryside as very small town in Miner in Brazil uh in the early 80s. So at that time there wasn't any um diagnose especially like in small towns and nobody had ever heard that word autism >> but I I had many um many signs and symptoms um that you know literally I drove my parents crazy so they they didn't know what to do. So I had so many issues um and went to so many doctors, psychologists, um therapists and you know but they actually you know they didn't know what to do. So that that was the truth. But there was one point that every autistic person has is um some some areas usually related to art that you need to somehow find out and stimulate that. In my case was music. So music actually brought me uh to life. Um and after that, you know, I I grew up. I had um relatively normal um uh teenagehood and adulthood, like early uh early um ages. Everything seemed to be normal. But then, you know, in 2018, I had my kids. So, I'm a father of triplets and two of them actually were eventually diagnosed with autism. And but you know what the thing that I I usually I mean I like to say is like the boy um I have two girls and one boy. The boy Lucas, he's the one who um had um you know moderate um kind of level one to two um autism and the other girl was more like a borderline. So uh they were diagnosed when they were like around one year of age very early and everything after that like all the support we have the ABA which is the the psychological

as more like a borderline. So uh they were diagnosed when they were like around one year of age very early and everything after that like all the support we have the ABA which is the the psychological um um therapy they had um occupational therapy um speech therapy and everything. So um if you looked at them today you pretty much don't tell that they are autistic. But you know what actually was interesting is that I knew I would have an autistic uh son even before they were born. And that's the dream I tell in every um every talk I give because I think it's very impressive. And um I dream all of them even before we knew my wife was pregnant. So and they all came to me explaining what they had to do. But the boy was very uh interesting because they came and uh I remember when he he he was coming towards me uh he was like um I was in the street was night and he came he was like around 21 25 years of age and he came to me and and he um um we shook hands and he said hi uh my name is uh Copernus Papolus and I'm coming from the Asian ancient Greece to be first son. Um, and I said, "Well, that's so weird you have that name." So, that's the only thing I was thinking about was his name. So, why such a weird name? He he left. He said, "Oh, I'm not here because of the name." I said, "Okay, but um what are you here for?" He said, "Well, >> I'm a very smart person, but I have a deep problem with my emotions. So I can connect my brain, my heart, and that's what the area I want you to work with me. And I said, "Well, that's interesting, but your name is not nice. So I have to give you another name." And and I said, "Since you're coming from Greece, I'm going to give I'm going to call you Lucas. It's also a Greek name." And he left. He said, "No, that's not the the reason I'm coming." And and so on. So, and when he was born, um, when I saw him the first time, I looked at the nurse that was around, he he was all three were in the NICU for about two months. And I looked at uh him and look

nd so on. So, and when he was born, um, when I saw him the first time, I looked at the nurse that was around, he he was all three were in the NICU for about two months. And I looked at uh him and look at her and said, "Hey, I believe he's autistic." And and she said, "How how can you possibly know that you just be born?" I mean, it was like one week ago. And I said, "Well, I told the dream." She was quiet, didn't know she believed or not. >> But eventually um like two months ago, I met her in the hospital after seven years and she actually hugged me and said, "Well, how is Lucas doing?" I said, "Well, you know, he's autistic." And she said, "Oh, I remember the dream you told me." And I actually believed it. So, it was nice because it was so real. And after that since I'm um um assistant professor um at a hospital here in Boston so I have my research lab that I said why not to be start this journey and trying to understand autism and by that time actually last year I also was diagnosed with autism. So then I said okay everything makes sense now because everything I went through my childhood and all the challenges I still have but I somehow overcame it. um you know h helps me to help my uh my child and doing the research is actually uh something that I could eventually help uh understand the material or physical cause of autism because you know as a an expert podcast we know that the the core of the the the problem here is spiritual and not physical but you know the medicine and uh they don't quite understand that yet. So need to go for the physical cause too. And that's when I became to uh I start to investigate the gut brain axis and maternal fetal cross talk in uh in the development of autism >> and the the research is going quite well right so you're getting some interesting results from >> yeah I'm trying to >> yeah we are trying to to get to the bottom of it. It's obviously not easy, but there's it's multiffactorial, >> but we're going to get there. >> Awesome. This is so good to hear. But um

m trying to >> yeah we are trying to to get to the bottom of it. It's obviously not easy, but there's it's multiffactorial, >> but we're going to get there. >> Awesome. This is so good to hear. But um um as you can see, um if we go back to the base because you mentioned it's the core of this discussion is really spiritual not material. So besides the fact that I believe the entire um collective humanity is um very appreciative of what you're doing at your lab to to understand and and maybe uh let's say even predict right if there are some of the symptoms or some of the the drivers to to autism that we could control. But uh if we go back to to that we we can see that uh um right and I mentioned before from that spirit's perspective family the family unit is really meant to be this very sacred space right for learning and teaching fraternity love and uh and uh this is this is so so important. But when we talk about um um neuroscience which is your field right we we also see that um whatever the moment of alarm or difficulty or long-term challenge and I'm thinking as I say this to your childhood where there were no diagnosis right um it's important that uh even our response to uh that event, if you will, it can shape the child's developing brain. Right? So, and what I'm talking about perhaps is the stressful interactions can trigger or heighten the anxiety that the child may already have, right? Versus that respectful, calm, loving communication. And um and I just bringing back to what Joanna D'Angelo tells us which is um the home is like a a um source of light that spreads through society. So when we nurture understanding within that spiritual constellation, we are elevating our children spiritually and preparing them to face their challenges because the world's already challenged, right, Hafa? We know that. So um I was wondering if you could uh tell us from your own experience perhaps or from your research etc. But um are there any tips that you can bring and you already

enged, right, Hafa? We know that. So um I was wondering if you could uh tell us from your own experience perhaps or from your research etc. But um are there any tips that you can bring and you already gave several to us already but is there something that uh uh you've seen and uh you nurtured and and that has led to uh face the difficulties of your family in a way that uh everybody else can listen and take to heart as well. >> Yeah. So one thing is um you know having a autistic child at home is very challenging. We are not discussing that. Uh we know the parents needs to know the life through change forever and that's the first step. Obviously for everyone for every um couple who uh will have a child the life will change but when you have a child with autism you change quite hard. >> Yeah. Because you know, you want your child to be the same as your neighbor's child. You want them to bring them to a playground. They they want them um your child to interact with everyone. You want uh but then you face yourself in a birthday party for your uh friends or neighbors uh kid and your child is screaming, is crying out loud, is running around, it's aggressive. And people come to you, especially Brazilians, I have to say, because that's our how you were educated. They'll tell you, you need to educate your child better. >> Uh this is because your terrible, huh? >> It's terrible. But but you know, it happens all the time. All the time. And your own parents sometimes say the same thing if they don't know what's going on. So this is absolutely upsetting to um the couple. I mean the mom, the dad. So and if you don't know how to digest that, you're going to pass all that anger to your child because at the end of the day, who is the reason for all the stress you're going through? >> It's your child. >> So why do I deserve to have a child with autism? Why do I have to go through all this difficulties? Well, my friend right here has a beautiful child, very normal behavior, everything is going on pretty

o why do I deserve to have a child with autism? Why do I have to go through all this difficulties? Well, my friend right here has a beautiful child, very normal behavior, everything is going on pretty well and why it's happening to me. So, this type of uh victim um >> yeah, mentality. Yeah, >> mentality >> needs to end immediately because that's going to kill you and it's going to kill your child too. So that's why you see many coh couples splitting after they have an autistic child or your kid becoming more anxious and sometimes they become they start talking but then they go back to non-verbal because they get so stressed something they're just absorbing from the environment and they don't know where it's coming from. So the parents need to be their support. That's the first thing. Another thing is once you understand that your life is changing but you have the biggest or maybe the most beautiful mission of all people on the face of earth because having that autistic child at home is going to teach you so much so much that at later on you're going to thank the go the god and the kid for being your son for being your daughter because that's what is going to make you a better person. But one thing that we do until now these days is that I mentioned in another uh lecture they gave is to talk to them when they're deep sleeping. So, and this is interesting because when you look at a child, you tend to think the spirit is as short and as naive as the child. But we forget that that's just a period of time where the brain is developing. the spirit cannot man manifest itself in its full capacity. So, but when you're sleeping, we know that the spirit is actually, you know, um getting out of the body and experience this experiencing the spiritual world. So, at that time when you talk to your child, you think they're sleeping, but the spirit is actually listening to you. And by the time many times you do it repetition, you're going to begin to see something is going on. Something is going to

ild, you think they're sleeping, but the spirit is actually listening to you. And by the time many times you do it repetition, you're going to begin to see something is going on. Something is going to change. If the child is aggressive, you're going to start seeing it calming down, calming down. If the child is depressive, you're going to begin to see them getting more joy. >> So, but it takes time and you need to repeat it all the time. So, the two things just to summarize, accept the situation. Don't think you're a victim. There is purpose God has for us that we don't understand. Just accept it. Second, talk to your child while they're sleeping. So, you're going to see the difference. It's dramatic difference. And I can tell you by two months, three months, you're doing that every night, you're going to see uh feel the difference because then it's like what do you say? So you just need to reinforce first thing. My son, my daughter, I love you. We love you. We are here to support you. I know life is hard. I know maybe you don't even wanted to be here because you knew every challenge you're going to go through, but we are here to support you as a family. So grow, shine, shine. That's what you need to do. You're very smart. You're very loved. You're very intelligent. So just give lots of compliments and he he or she will understand you and change the behavior just based on what you say. But say it from the bottom of her heart. That's what is the key point. Not just saying because you have to. From the bottom of your heart. That's when the vibration gets in touch as well. >> Yeah. I love to hear that. uh uh and because it starts to make sense, right? They're uh very smart and they have most uh simplistic way to say a disconnect between emotion and uh and the the the rational thinking. >> Yeah. >> And this is exactly what they need. The idea that this being that has been entrusted to you as a parent is loved thoroughly. >> Yeah. Yes. >> And and I can tell you my son

tional thinking. >> Yeah. >> And this is exactly what they need. The idea that this being that has been entrusted to you as a parent is loved thoroughly. >> Yeah. Yes. >> And and I can tell you my son >> um he didn't want either me or my wife to even touch him when he was a baby. >> Oh my goodness. Yes. >> So it was very tough because you knew like the repulsion. I mean he didn't want to be touched. You are so hyper sensitive. >> Yeah. >> Uh but now he is the most I would say uh loving and caring of all three. So he says I love you all the time. He kiss, he hugs. And it's amazing how he understood it. And just by us teaching him in the dreams when he's dreaming or you know out of his body by talking to him at night >> and uh also giving love and support because that makes the kid okay so I'm loved why not love right? So after he realized that it's completely different. So that's why I'm saying it works. At least it worked pretty well for us. >> Yeah, that's that's such a great testimony right there. But uh do you mind if we go back to something that you you mentioned in the beginning which to me is an interest of mine which is the idea of normal, >> right? And it's a very fluid notion. We all know what was normal at our grandparents is not normal today and what is normal for my grandchild would not be normal to me for example and uh so that idea that normal is what's within and I'm I'm putting um making a gesture of a a square like I'm thinking of a piece of paper right and uh for anything that you do in that piece of paper you leave margins. >> Yeah. >> And there are those that are inside the the margin, the so-called normal. And outside of the margin are those many times marginalized, not welcome, not understood. But those were the ones if you look at history uh those are the ones that made big you know cataclysmatic if you will just this very very big transformational changes and we can talk about uh uh our friend right the the the Swiss uh uh therapist psych psych psychiatrist therapist called

know cataclysmatic if you will just this very very big transformational changes and we can talk about uh uh our friend right the the the Swiss uh uh therapist psych psych psychiatrist therapist called Gustav Jung who many people could not understand him for a while, but he he did exactly what he needed to do to bring the beauty of uh um Yunian um framework. Yeah. The Union psychologies. Yes. So I'm I'm thinking do you mind talking a little bit about uh understanding because um perhaps you who are here with us today may not have an autistic child but may have a child with a a different situation right? >> Yeah. So I think to get to the uh core of this question you need to understand the spiritual part of this as well. So um I mentioned in the beginning the the levels of autism let's say one in one extreme and three in the another extreme. So um maybe my answer is going to be a little bit long but I want to get to the point to understand um >> and we have time go ahead >> yeah how you can change this uh this uh concept of um normality. So if you think about um a level three child where um um the signs and symptoms are very um severe um their comorbidities um also associated like epilepsy and other conditions. We think those spirits are um actually in reincarnating um to somehow um reestablish uh the track something they did wrong before. We called expation. Um it's where you come, you know, to somehow adjust yourself to the right track. And that was the only way possible was to come in a body that somehow very u challenging to the spirit. But if you think about the level one um those spirits um if you remember the book by Devado Franco and Manuel Filomeo de Miranda called planetary transition. So the spirit manual will tell us about the spirits coming from another um constellation uh from another um star called Oion or Alion. I don't know how you pronounce that in English [laughter] but uh it's a star from the playheads. We can even see this star um on the night sky. Um and those spirits according to

called Oion or Alion. I don't know how you pronounce that in English [laughter] but uh it's a star from the playheads. We can even see this star um on the night sky. Um and those spirits according to him it's um they are much more evolved than us here on earth. Those spirits are coming reincarnating in in this bodies here on earth to bring not only uh moral changes to the world but also physical changes. So our physical body um is not completely um I would say developed yet. there are points that are developing and one of these points are in the frontal lobe of our brain. So this is where we need to go uh in terms of uh super consciousness according to another book but now Chico Xavier and Andre Louise called um uh the greater world the greater world. So um that you have the three levels of the mental uh house. So the third level is the frontal lobe. The frontal lobe is where we will rationalize and control our emotion especially control our instincts that are in the first level or the first floor. So those spirits are actually coming and making pinpoint mutations in our DNA to make this new body um ready in a few or actually many years to come. Um and in those case imagine those spirits are coming from um environment that are much more evoked. They don't even need to verbalize when they talk. It's just by thinking and they come to such a dense body, such an imper imperfect body. Um and they need to adjust to all these bad things around. So what do you think the spirits are going to do in the first years of life? They're going to be very different. because they don't want to go and do stupid things that most of us want to do. They want to focus on the mission they have to do. That's why they need to do it. That's where they came from. So why to waste time with >> Yes. >> So [clears throat] they will have difficulties in learning our language which is obvious. They don't use that anymore. And now there it's like imagine yourself going to um gorilla body. How do you how would you

throat] they will have difficulties in learning our language which is obvious. They don't use that anymore. And now there it's like imagine yourself going to um gorilla body. How do you how would you feel to adjust to their talk to adjust to their brain which is a way less evolved that the ones you used to have in your star in your planet whatever. So then it comes to this child who see they are very quiet. They they don't adjust very well to the environment. They um get anxious. Look just pay attention to the symptoms. >> So they will be anxious, sometimes depressive, sometimes agitated and they will have difficulty in communicating. So what are these signs and symptoms I just said? It's autism. So most of these autistic kids on level one, they are actually spiritually speaking spirits from other planets or other stars much more evolved than us to make our planet better to make our physical bodies better. So then it comes to the normality thing you said. So what is normal to them? So if you you were transported now to their planet to their star do you think you would be normal? >> So then you see the normality is completely >> um you know relative relative and abstract >> right >> so that's what I like to tell people. So what is normal to your child it's not normal to most of people but doesn't mean it's wrong. It's just a different perspective. That's why I said in the beginning, just listen to your child because they're gonna start showing signs of things that are, you know, you need to work on obviously, but you need to have this open mind to respect their pace, you know, the rhythm >> and to better help them. >> Yeah. Yeah. I I I I love it what you're saying. Right. Look at uh we are all like uh ice you know the ice crystals. We are all different from each other but those are beautiful little crystals that are very very unique and beautiful in their own. But um I wanted to to maybe pivot to to something else. Um because you you you provided something quite uh

but those are beautiful little crystals that are very very unique and beautiful in their own. But um I wanted to to maybe pivot to to something else. Um because you you you provided something quite uh interesting, Raphael, which is the the really looking at the children as spirits, right? That came and are incarnated or reincarnated in as your children, but uh you you work with them as spirits at night and looking at um their mission, etc., etc. I I love it. But uh um by by talking to them at night to exercise this, but I believe there are other perhaps um um tools that we can talk about it, right? And I'm I'm referencing now Joanna D'Angelus when she says if things are not going so well at home regardless of the the source for for for those challenging times daily prayer right is really important. Uh perhaps uh reading uh spiritual texts can also help you the parent uh etc. Are there any other um tools in the spiritist toolkit that you think we could uh just u name here? >> Gospel at home. >> Okay. >> So that's you know the I would say the most important ones. Mhm. >> Obviously the gospel at home, you're going to do it with your with their kids and um in a ludic um way uh to make them understand and as they grow, you can begin to talk, >> you know, more um open about the situations, fear they're facing at school and things like that. obviously um the evangelization that's bringing the kid to be um to the spirit's house and to get uh in touch with other kids um and to get involved. So and right and and those are the things I believe will help tremendously um to get this child in touch and not only in terms of learning uh but also in terms of vibration >> that's one of the things another point of autistic kids I I wouldn't say most but a great number of them with are also mediums So and they don't understand that. That's another thing because you know they have this constant contact with the spiritual world. >> But you know if the vibration or the syony is not that great obviously you

hey don't understand that. That's another thing because you know they have this constant contact with the spiritual world. >> But you know if the vibration or the syony is not that great obviously you know what kind of um spirit to be around. >> Yeah. >> And um it becomes an obsession. So all these issues that a child may face and will bring even more uh challenge to the parents. So that's why bringing them to the spiritist house or if you're not a spiritist, maybe you're just listening to this podcast, but you're from you're Catholic or whatever religion you have, >> but just try to make a good environment or bring your child um to your community or religious community to be around other ch other children and share the same type of thoughts and vibrations. >> That help a lot and keep doing that at home too. So yeah, that's uh I don't know if you want to add anything. >> No, I would like to just say just uh to put my words into you from your words, but it's the the idea that uh as any children, right, in autistic children perhaps in in a deeper sense, but they absorb emotions deeply, right? Even if their response may not be uh typical. That's why we talk about not near divergent or atypical, right? But from that perspective, all of us as parents, they we need to really focus on ourselves in terms of calmness, consistency and and love as a as a the basic guideline for for the life at home. And uh if we go back to to Joanna D'Angelus on the topic of families um uh she always says there should not be any taboo in a home that is filled with love. Right. >> Yeah. >> Whatever that may be, we there should not be any off topic difficult topic as they may be. we we need to to bring them with respect with uh with a sense of moral responsibility of everyone but also with the idea that they should be available to be discussed with care and of course age appropriate clarity. So it it is so so important for for for us to talk about this specifically. So I I really appreciate it and uh I can see

d be available to be discussed with care and of course age appropriate clarity. So it it is so so important for for for us to talk about this specifically. So I I really appreciate it and uh I can see we're about to close. Do you have any final thoughts? Uh, Raphael. >> So, I think my final thoughts, um, I would say having an autistic child is not for someone who wants it, but for someone one who actually can can have it. So it's um it's I would say it's a blessing even though your life is going to be very um it's going to be challenged a lot but it is a blessing. Um the patience and um all the understanding I'm having now uh with my kid and with my son and my daughter my other daughter too who's also diagnosed with autism. So it makes it makes you feel um you know you grow you have a purpose in life. >> Um so another thing is again don't blame yourself for having uh child with autism. Um it's not your fault. it there's all like a purpose and work together um in family to make this uh a better life for everyone and keep Jesus in mind always always because that's the most important thing and that's why bring your kid to your church uh do the gospel at home or whatever religious um actions or or things you want to do uh keep talking about Jesus is keep talking about the good things. Uh keep um stimulating your child to telling them they're smart, they're strong, they will face we're going to face this challenge together and just leave it up. I think that's the the point. Enjoy it because it's a very unique life. You have to enjoy it. >> I love it. Let's enjoy the ride. Right. >> Yeah. >> But uh just to summarize before close, right? Um, and I'm I'm using Jonah D'Angelus um terms. The family is that spiritual constellation. And it doesn't matter where you live, right? Where you live in the world, what uh cultural heritage you have, conflicts are inevitable. But as I mentioned before, how we respond to them, especially if you're a parent of autistic children can transform those

ve in the world, what uh cultural heritage you have, conflicts are inevitable. But as I mentioned before, how we respond to them, especially if you're a parent of autistic children can transform those challenges into opportunities of growth. So every moment should be reflective of patience, empathy, and those more teachings are maybe bricks that you're laying into the spiritual foundation of your home, but the entire society. So I'd say even the small gesture listening I think you mentioned music was very good for you right maybe bring art and all its artistic expressions but uh but also validating each child as they are in each phase guiding them and uh it will be an incredible incredible gift to all of us. So right uh if we were to say uh a practical invitation because Joanna the angels always gives us some invitations is just to reflect it in your home and think about what are your challenges. Are there any points of tension? But approach it with honesty with love and respect. Right? But uh I want to say thank you Raphael. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us today. And for all of you who are here with us, if this is the first time you're listening to our program, please note that psychology and spirituality weekly talks are based on the works by Joanna D'Angel. I want to also thank our sponsors, Monsano Cabinho, the United States Spiritist Federation, the international spirit spiritist. I can't talk today. International Spiritist Council at Ami Brazil. Thank you everyone. Until next time. >> Thank you so much. Have a wonderful day or night, whatever it is. [laughter] >> Thank you so much everyone.