Ep 39 - The Existential Paradox - Seeming and Being

hello everyone welcome to the psychology and spirituality a bridge to a better life discussion I am your host Marcia trano and with me is Peter Hayes Peter is the president of the spiritist group love and light newk New Jersey it is so good to have you with us again Peter love our conversation and uh if you have yet to meet Peter or hear about Peter from Peter please know that he has an amazing curriculum he has contributed with over 60 episodes of the radio program living Spring on card de Radio he was also on the editing staff for the spirits book that was published by the US spiritist Federation and currently he serving in the board of directors of the US Spirits Federation and is an active participant in the Tri State spiritist Federation thank you so much Peter it's an honor to be here with you thank you Marcy it's a pleasure to be here yeah awesome but if this the first time that you're watching us in this podcast like program please note this is our weekly program that are a conversation based on the works by Joanna deangeles and uh we are here to create this safe space this uh opportunity right Peter to compare to to contrast to correlate but most importantly to expand our own spirituality type of concepts with the psychological lens so that we can have a better insight about life and uh leading ourselves a a better way of living but today's episode uh that is bought to brought To Us by our friends at the spiritist group love and light right and please go to their website if you want to know more at www.l andlight nj.org also please note that our program is sponsored by four organizations they are Amy Brazil the TV man the uh International spiritist Council and the United States spiritist Federation Please Subscribe if you haven't done so and uh if you want to know more about what we do check us out at spiritist do us also feedback comments questions critique anything let us know by putting your comments in the chat window we'd love to to hear from you and most likely come back in a

check us out at spiritist do us also feedback comments questions critique anything let us know by putting your comments in the chat window we'd love to to hear from you and most likely come back in a different episode and bring up some of your questions but we're here today Peter to discuss a an existential Paradox of modernity which is seeming versus being and I want us to tease a little bit your your your your thought processes Peter I wanted to us to talk maybe about this idea of authenticity of consciousness of Simply being and uh I start because I was thinking about it before we came on air just thinking about how in society today the society that you and I and everyone else here lives we no longer perhaps Define ourselves by what we do right instead of who hi who are you and uh in the in the past and I I keep thinking of uh s exi in the The Little Prince right where he talks a lot about it you don't talk about who you are you talk about what you do yes I'm Mercia and I am and you give your profession that is speci he Peter right we no longer Define about what we do we don't even Define ourselves by the car that we drive the how large is our our house what is the degree that we have but really we defined by this mask that we create this Persona we we we create something that's just absolutely Hollow right it's ephemeral at best but but we invest a lot of our energy and we invest our energy to create it but most importantly to defend it with all our might this is our egoic self uh our ego really creating something that you want to to to show that you are who you're not but let's think about this Paradox first of all uh the questions that come to my mind Peter are why do we even have to create a mask and mask ourselves from ourselves which is quite interesting right how why do even uh fall prey to your own masks and what I thought before I give the mic to you in my apologies for for staying too much uh to talk about this is what came to my mind Peter was the fact that today we

n uh fall prey to your own masks and what I thought before I give the mic to you in my apologies for for staying too much uh to talk about this is what came to my mind Peter was the fact that today we live uh with the heavy heavy influence of social media and influencers and that has become the new Norm we either curate and edit how we look uh how we behave what we say how we show up right and when we do this we are probably hiding away our own existential problems our own sense of emptiness and I have to say if we if we just start to think about it right it it it ranges from feds to makeup to hair to body type influencers uh they are very good at influencing and they cause this um let's say copycat Behavior which means there's a lot of people out there imitating one another other we are assuming identical postures and we are really coming short right coming out of this very short on a weakened sense of ideals of ethics and even our own individuality as such there is this dehumanizing I want to put here because this something that Joanna BR brings to us this dehumanizing equality and when I read that I go Peter what is Joanna talking about dehumanizing equality which is we want to be equal right and I just think about it must be exhausting to stay relevant to be an influencer or to stay as a follower following the trends right we we we just spend all of our time looking what is the latest trend and what is the latest fed how do I dress how do I talk how do I behave and as Joanna even talks about this third Group which she calls these Originals uh there is an increasing group of people that uh we can talk about and this is really dates me right uh in my age in of the 70s and 80s but the counterculture either the hippies or or I don't know the uh the punks and all of those countercultural uh types of movements because they were led by this desire to shock and to be considered an original because of their exotic behavior and perhaps scorn right of uh everything I don't follow you I am an original but

vements because they were led by this desire to shock and to be considered an original because of their exotic behavior and perhaps scorn right of uh everything I don't follow you I am an original but then if you bring it all about it is all about hiding who you really are so Peter tell us about what you think about this are we even able to get out of this vicious cycle what do you think well I think to that question yes we can to go back before the subject of influencers when it comes to why do we have a m ask in the first place well there could be lots of reasons I think part of it is fear for certainly part of it can be that we all based upon whatever experiences we have growing up we're finding ways to cope we're finding ways to adapt and sometimes depending on the environment we grew up in especially if there was abuse emotional perhaps physical and so forth then we adap adapt certain ways of Behaving that are A coping a way of trying to cope so that we seek approval and one reason to wear a mask is that we think we're pleasing other people by appearing to be a certain way however if it comes across as being inauthentic and it probably will on a deeper unconscious level if our Behavior comes across as being inauthentic and people pick up on that yeah they're liable to resent us maybe they even hate us for it who knows but when we um I mean there are lots of ways to think about that but like if we pretend to be very calm and very Serene as if we're you know Mr new age or or something like that um what if there's something else going on beneath us that we're not connecting to maybe we're afraid of anger that we might have maybe we're suppressing anger in one way or another and so we put on a mask that's one example um if we are obsessed with you know in being influenced and wanting to be uh um trendy I guess shop to you drop that kind of thing um some of that may be that we just feel like we are identifying with a group that we want to feel like we're a part of a group because if we feel like we're

guess shop to you drop that kind of thing um some of that may be that we just feel like we are identifying with a group that we want to feel like we're a part of a group because if we feel like we're alone and isolated that that's an awful feeling and I was reading I I'm in the middle of a very interesting book Now by uh Jordan Peterson called 12 rules for life and he's a psychologist and he does mention among many things how many people are alone I mean really alone and when we don't have a chance to really talk and express ourselves to somebody it it it the the consequences of that can be really serious in terms of our own happiness our self-esteem the way it affects us and so maybe the fixation on influence is in part a way of trying to fit into a group to feel like we're accepted because no longer alone right Peter no longer alone no longer alone exactly because if we don't feel like we can express ourselves in some capacity to somebody that we know to somebody close to us perhaps then maybe we one way to compensate for that would be to feel like okay I'm part of this group because I you know I'm wearing these clothes this week or I'm you know doing my hair this way not that I have much hair but um um but any type of of um influence so to speak can I add something else Peter before you you move on because what uh what you're you're talking about in terms of that inauthentic self right which is this seing yes uh even when you have a group of uh editors and and uh advisors and all of uh really sophisticated well acted upon it's an authentic and you know it right you you you create that uh in internal churn that at some point it's going to come up I I even think uh almost like a volcano right where underneath this com uh let's say ocean and at some point the tectonic plates will collide and explode and all that pressure is going to come out to relieve to relieve all that's going underneath and I think uh it's important for us to to to be aware of it regardless of how

tes will collide and explode and all that pressure is going to come out to relieve to relieve all that's going underneath and I think uh it's important for us to to to be aware of it regardless of how well we mask ourselves from ourselves at some point we will erupt in um in some sort of uh a mental and physical uh un un un I'm not sure what's the best term unwell beinging right we're not well but one of the things that I wanted to to to bring to you and I I bring to you because we we talked a couple of episodes ago about the notion of inner silence right and uh and many people believe uh and you and I and all of you who are here today may fall trapped into the idea that inner silence is okay I'm going to meditate okay Joanna d'angeles tells us right meditate pray gather yourself in in the place of solitude if you will and uh and the fact of the matter is that many of us don't even know what the true meditative state is uh we we end up meditate because the doctor tells you Marcia you need to meditate 15 minutes a day because you're too anxious and I go and I'm like ah I can't I'm exhausted for meditating versus that a very good place to be and that inner silence if you will should be in my opinion based on what I've read of join the angels for example is to silence all of that the influencing the being a follower or trying to be an original whatever whatever the subgroup we we fall uh into but also silence the anxieties silence the worries silence all of these external um inputs that come to us and and take away our sense of Peace our sense of balance our piece right well perhaps one of the things we may discover in our attempts to engage in inner silence is that maybe we just need to sleep more because I imagine many of us are chronically under rested and part of that can be too much of the racing of the mind in general um Sleep Experts recommend by the way that we should get at least seven hours eight hours of sleep maybe even more uh at times but that U so you know how can one meditate

racing of the mind in general um Sleep Experts recommend by the way that we should get at least seven hours eight hours of sleep maybe even more uh at times but that U so you know how can one meditate if one is exhausted uh I mean it might happen but it might also lead we may discover just how tired we really are and as far as the inauthentic self is concerned one way of expressing that can also be that we make ourselves so habitually busy and in this day and age it's very easy to do that I'm uh rather guilty of that myself but we make ourselves so habitually busy that we don't have time for that inner silence because if we did make time for that God forbid we might actually have to be with ourselves and of course that's actually a wonderful thing I'm being a little factious here but but people who want to make themselves habitually busy are probably avoiding something and I think you know as as someone who who is an example of that uh including workaholic uh Behavior strong workaholic behavior and a lot of time trying to to to move away from that myself but uh I think it's good for us to think about why right why is it so easy to to fall prey into defense mechanism or Escape mechanisms such as workaholic Behavior or busy right if you have a uh busy I don't have to think about it and from that perspective um uh perhaps being in front of TV at the end of the day when you're absolutely there's nothing left in you is a way to just I I don't want to think about it right this is yeah right but I can zone out versus The Silence of the non TV which is I now am somehow facing the mirror if you will I'm facing myself I'm say I'm facing what and I I I don't know if you want to talk to it what what is can we talk today about this idea of Consciousness well one question I was just thinking of is how do we learn to really be with ourselves and who in the world are we well that's a different the answer to that I mean every one of us would have a different experience with that if we

inking of is how do we learn to really be with ourselves and who in the world are we well that's a different the answer to that I mean every one of us would have a different experience with that if we begin to try to tap in a little bit more to who we really are it and and can be very difficult to do that it may be something very fearful maybe we wouldn't like some of who we are but this actually leads to a very important point we cannot connect to our higher selves until we've connected to our lower selves to act as though we're going to go through life and not connect to our negativity in some way and acknowledge it's there acknowledge that maybe we even like it sometimes before we can connect to a higher self we have to be mindful of all that not just mindful but you know connect to it in some way in a safe way and and what I mean by that is you know all of us I think have experiences that are very painful and difficult to confront but do we have the courage to do it because Joanna de Angelus is stressing frequently the importance that we know ourselves that we connect to ourselves that we as you said before we connect to our authentic selves and it how can we do that if we don't acknowledge and also confront to some extent maybe a lot but confront our uh negative selves as well our negativity can you talk a little bit more about that what what is that negativity uh uh because it's important as you mentioned in in the works not only of Joan and deangeles but this whole uh play uh uh plethora of uh uh um schools of thoughts regarding uh not only psychology but also spirituality can you tell us well negativity can mean a lot of things maybe we like to control other people maybe we like to dominate maybe we um you know maybe we're jealous of certain people and we wish we could get them out of the way um maybe we have violent urges um maybe we sometimes really want to hit somebody that kind of thing um you know all feelings that if we acted upon them we would we would not be proud of

out of the way um maybe we have violent urges um maybe we sometimes really want to hit somebody that kind of thing um you know all feelings that if we acted upon them we would we would not be proud of ourselves and we could get ourselves into a lot of trouble but um there may be more subtle ones like maybe we want to sabotage the relationships we're in or we're afraid of success in some way or um um you know we have I mean a lot of people have prejudices within them which again if it came out to the surface they might be very afraid and uncomfortable to acknowledge that um I think that I mean there's there's lots of ways to think about what negativity could be and I feel like I'm just touching on a few of them um but anything that really has to do with our animalistic nature now our animalistic nature is not necessarily something we should run away from either I mean that's who we are right that's what our Legacy if you will that's what we our heritage if you will yeah correct it is our heritage and and when we try to be more spiritual uh whatever that might mean to somehow deny that we are animals yeah that's a good point here you know right we're we're not con we're again not connecting to our heritage as you said our evolutional heritage aggression can be done positively for instance in certain ways and in order to do that um we need to be able to connect to more of our our animal likee cells and by aggression I mean that we're able to stand up for ourselves we're willing to to confront now when I say confront I don't mean being uh hurtful and and violent or anything like that but simply having enough self-esteem enough positive ego that we don't tolerate certain forms of behavior when those behaviors should be confronted yeah so on one hand uh having filters to control ourselves as a uh organism Within Society right as social beings that's one thing the other thing is the fact that we do have an animalistic uh um Dimension as well as a spiritual Dimension we are we are

selves as a uh organism Within Society right as social beings that's one thing the other thing is the fact that we do have an animalistic uh um Dimension as well as a spiritual Dimension we are we are Immortal beings and as such we have a very strong spiritual side but uh we also have this animalistic side that is important to us and from an instinct and and uh a a lot of uh I you know if you read about we see a lot of discussion on uh Instinct being the very basis right of humanity what I mean by that is this very primitive uh uh part of we are as human beings but uh are instincts necessarily bad are instincts bad no I mean instincts help us to survive because if we didn't have Instinct at all how would we perceive danger for instance yeah so um you know our instincts well um if if our instinct is to be impulsive and violent obviously that's not so good but suppose we have an instinct to be caring maybe what about the parental instinct to protect and nurture for instance um or the instinct to help somebody um you know we see somebody who's suffering or got hurt and we may our our Instinct might be how can I not stop and help this person rather than you know keep walking yeah we can talk a lot about uh compassion I I believe there is a book um o it's a maybe two decades old book by the Dal Lama that he I think it was uh the spiritual Revolution I believe this is I'm I'm bringing from memory where he talks a lot about the uh instinctive nature of compassion uh so it's very cool if we think about it right so we are compassionate yeah but not just us if you look into um nature right and let's go to the wild uh animals in the African Savannah and and we see that as you mentioned the the parental Instinct that that instinct to preserve nevertheless we're no longer that caveman or the the man that runs against those animals and yet our instincts to to protect to to to help us with the survival of who we are as an individual but also the race is can be um interesting enough an

r the the man that runs against those animals and yet our instincts to to protect to to to help us with the survival of who we are as an individual but also the race is can be um interesting enough an impediment for our own um growth and evolution as Spiritual Beings right yeah I mean animals operate on Instinct and that's primarily what they do and we have that impulse as well but of course we have all kinds of complex emotions and analytical abilities and discernment and so forth that uh that allow us to make all kinds of choices based on that so going back to animals animals will raise their young and they'll be caring and nurturing but once the responsibility is accomplished you know the the parent animal may very well go on to a completely different life with others and abandon the young but humans don't do that yeah yeah at least not all humans right stay in contact yeah yeah but can we can we pivot a little bit I know you you work a lot with spiritism right uh and uh as president and uh active worker in different organizations can you tell us a little bit about how Joanna in her book The conscious being right at the beginning she really brings very strongly the aspects of spiritism that can help us understand our sense of self our sense of uh uh authenticity in all that we are meaning this Immortal being that uh brings with uh ourselves our own Heritage our own past past existence and all that we we we created can you talk a little bit about it uh Peter Well spiritism if spirit ISM stresses that we are here to try and be better versions of ourselves and part of what that means is that since spiritism stresses the immortality of the soul and stresses that we do come back reincarnation we therefore are here to learn and with reincarnation in mind it makes a difference is to why we are here or how we experience life and that everything yeah we go through is um an opportunity to learn we learn through the bodies we're in we learn through the families we're in we learn through uh

are here or how we experience life and that everything yeah we go through is um an opportunity to learn we learn through the bodies we're in we learn through the families we're in we learn through uh the challenges that we face just moving around the physical world um there's all kinds of learning to be done in all of that and since spiritism the purpose of studying spiritism and and trying to put it into practice is for us to be better versions of ourselves to try to understand better who we are it's very connected to psychology that way because certainly psychology stresses as probably one of the most fundamentally important goals is for us to know ourselves to have more Consciousness about who we we are and to understand a little bit more about um maybe where we've been what our past is uh a lot of like Freudian psychology if I'm not mistaken will stress that a lot of times we're carrying the past within us now so if we just look at a single lifetime whatever we're going through now is in many ways a reflection of what we experiencing when we were younger so so young so so trauma of our youth right or trauma of our youth I mean it can be the trauma of our youth it can maybe be hopefully some positive things too but whatever it is it's part of who we are now so it's the present of the past or the past is in the present and um but it's also you know from what we remember of the past is our memory reliable not necessarily we're probably not remembering many things we're we're always filtering how we process our past and then there's also what are we internalizing unconsciously what are we uh what are we carrying around with us that we're not so aware of that we maybe well that we took in when we were very young for instance I mean just one examp example is um in the first two years of a child's life the bonding with the parent is really really important and depending on the nature of that bonding it can have a big influence on them in adult life now if somebody did did not have good

child's life the bonding with the parent is really really important and depending on the nature of that bonding it can have a big influence on them in adult life now if somebody did did not have good bonding that does not mean necessarily that they're condemned to struggle with bonding as adults but it can also mean that as an adult if someone didn't have very good bonding in childhood they they may struggle um people can be both affected by these things but we may also we can be more resilient than we give ourselves credit for too and um and going back to the subject of authenticity wearing a mask and so forth that would be another reason uh difficulties with bonding because we may uh if we're seeking acceptance maybe we didn't learn very well how to seek acceptance or we're terrified of rejection um if why is it so hard Peter uh to to accept who we are why is it so hard to and I don't know that you have an answer to that I'm just thinking about here uh the the complexity in in our own way of understanding what love is right and and we can go through an entire discussion on the historical definitions of love right uh very much uh materialistic possessive Etc versus the the Agape that love that Jesus was an example pure example of this just unconditional love un uh all accepting love to despite all that we are and all of our foes if you will uh that the love exist but why is it so hard for us to to to accept uh that to love like that to be loved like that to why is it so hard for us to to be to feel like we are loved yeah and and to be able to love right and to love Yeah well again bonding can be a big reason for that that that it's um if we don't feel like we are loved I mean one of the the most important things parents can do for their children is to send the message that they love their children unconditionally their children may be major pain in the necks but um and and hopefully parents are learning how to set boundaries with their children so that they're not such

they love their children unconditionally their children may be major pain in the necks but um and and hopefully parents are learning how to set boundaries with their children so that they're not such big pain in the necks but um but even so if if it's a little bit like um when a a small child is not behaving well we respond one way to that versus an adult who's not behaving well right we're we're a lot less sympathetic to an adult misbehaving than we are a small child doesn't mean that small child shouldn't be held accountable in an appropriate way at a level that can understand but um in setting those kinds of boundaries um who was it um Mr Rogers um Mr Rogers talked about setting loving limits with children and I think what he was getting at is uh you do need to set limits of course there are times when children behave in ways that they need you know to have some limits set but if it's done in a loving way then it's a way of sending the message that I love you I still care about you even though you know you're not allowed to to do what you're doing or or even if you're unhappy that you cannot have that ice cream right now um and things like that when when we feel that we've got that Foundation of love then it's a whole lot easier to cope um you know going back to fears of rejection well rejection is is very hard but if we have a sense of who we are even if we are rejected by somebody we don't fall apart as a result sure we may feel badly and and so forth It's like if one's dating and they get rejected by this person or that person okay that's not fun to go through but we have a sense of who we are if we're connected to our truer self are we able to you know get through that rejection and move on rather than be devastated and feel like I'm no good I I have no nothing to give anybody I'm gonna give up and so forth so we can talk a little bit about uh perhaps the ego right the the strong ego uh uh which is what we need is a foundation to protect who we are and uh

ng to give anybody I'm gonna give up and so forth so we can talk a little bit about uh perhaps the ego right the the strong ego uh uh which is what we need is a foundation to protect who we are and uh uh when we talk uh about the the bonding of the the child with their parents in early childhood but also the entire structure of through life to to have that strong ego structure being formed and uh and support you uh in your sense of self right um but the the issue that we have is when we let the ego drive all over responses to the external inputs and and what we mean by that is uh uh I I guess uh we talked about this before perhaps uh Peter uh when we met previously where um you know there are many emotions out there there are four basic emotions uh uh Joy sadness anger um um and and fear right and and they're there to to help that human being in a very instinctive manner react to external inputs either threats or or that bonding in case of Joy right you you emote you have those emotions as a response to what comes from outside in and and the thought process here perhaps is that um uh as we get angry let's say you you mentioned right uh anger as a defense mechanism to a threat and you right you you you have that uh that fight of flight uh almost immediate reaction to protect who you are and and the thought here is let's think about ourselves in the idea of this uh existential Paradox of seeming versus being MH uh in terms of uh what is it that is uh creating that response mechanism is it you are protecting your ego right and and then uh because of it the egoic masks and the egoic uh behaviors and the E egoic uh constructs of that curated idea of uh this is Peter and he is this that and all of those attributes that you have invested your entire life time to to be a respected member of society uh somebody who's intelligent somebody who is compassionate whatever uh may be that uh you you identify yourself as but so long they are a mask there's something underneath that

cted member of society uh somebody who's intelligent somebody who is compassionate whatever uh may be that uh you you identify yourself as but so long they are a mask there's something underneath that is really making you unhappy and I'm talking about you but I'm talking about myself and everybody else uh here with us today it is the sense of unless we understand that yes it's okay to be angry it's yes it's okay to be sad or or afraid Etc it's okay but let's take the time to understand if I am angry let's not Mas that anger with hi right that's very yes that inauthentic mask of niceness when I am angry okay I'm angry Peter I am angry okay I am angry so why am I angry and then we have that uh that Journey that invitation that Joanna brings to all of us that invitation in is pretty much in all of her body of work as well as the spiritist body of work a spiritist literature in the sense of let us look Embark in this journey that takes a lot of courage to look inside and confront those emotions those feelings yes because looking inside and confronting those emotions is not does not mean or shouldn't mean that we're going to become permanently swallowed up by them yes and and we have to be able to understand that any of these feelings that we may have happiness sadness fear Etc they're temporary you know we have lots of different emotions from one moment to the next and um anything that we're going through it may be challenging but it's not like we're going to be there for all eternity and in fact we may be a lot better off if we're allowing ourselves to experience things like anger so um and you're right Joanna Angelus does say that and and so do psychologists in general that anger is normal and okay the question though is how do we find ways to expressed anger that are not you know explosive to the point of being violent and hurtful and things like that because let's say we have I mean just as an example let's say we're in a relationship and the person we're in a relationship with has done

o the point of being violent and hurtful and things like that because let's say we have I mean just as an example let's say we're in a relationship and the person we're in a relationship with has done something to make us angry not that that ever happens of course but can we find a way to talk about it that is not um meant to score points and hurt and abuse can we we find a way to talk about it where we're expressing how we react to something but we're not just um you know really dumping on that person because there is the next day and the next day and the next day after that if we're in a in a serious relationship so we always have to be mindful about you know there's going to be that tomorrow so let's try to but well an important point I I'm going to pick on spiritist just a little bit here but sometimes I encounter people that seem to be a little afraid to confront you know we must Elevate our thoughts we must you know thought is everything we must always have good energy positive vibrations well yes that's true but if it's not what Foundation is that really on is that on a foundation of authenticity or is it on a Foundation of fear and and avoidance because latter then you know yeah and it's very important because when we when we talk that we don't have the time to go into it Peter but when we start to talk about projections and complexes and even archetypal behaviors right we fall we fall prey into an idealized Behavior okay I'm a mother there for the the idealized version of what a mother may be not only uh culturally in terms of my sub the my family subculture my regional subculture the Western subculture versus the an entire um uh world of that idealized version of being a mother and when that does uh become incompatible to my feelings we start to have uh uh dealing unconsciously or even subconsciously conflict with ourselves right and and we we we repress who we are we repress how we feeling and boy that starts the Journey of that uh that seeming that behavior of I'm not going

r even subconsciously conflict with ourselves right and and we we we repress who we are we repress how we feeling and boy that starts the Journey of that uh that seeming that behavior of I'm not going to be authentic to myself I'm not going to explore uh the um lack of synchronicity between what I expect of myself and how I am capable of living that role of a mother in this case right and I I I keep thinking there's so many roles out there there's so many idealized versions of what we should be and and of course this changes through time the the idealized mother of 500 years ago or even even uh perhaps a 100 years ago or 50 years ago is not the same of today where in the west most women U are have joined the workforce and they're not with their children they're not caretakers uh for those of you who are thank goodness that life has allowed you to to be with your children right but uh more and more uh women and men are out there hence their children are uh dealing with a different type of childhood than maybe 10 years 50 years ago but with that I think uh it it we we should really look into this beautiful invitation to be loving to understand our animalistic as well as our spiritual Dimensions to understand that uh we do bring instincts but they are not bad they're just part of we are and those instincts are here to protect us such as those basic emotions they're there to help us survive whatever threat uh perceived or or real uh is there and that we should look every time I am behaving let's think about am I being original am I being a follower am I being an influencer but why let us focus on being and that's my invitation any final words Peter on onto this topic to those who are here with us today if we really want to influence anyone then I would say the best way we could do that is be as authentic as we possibly can be and that also includes Having the courage to sometimes not look so good maybe we make you know we make mistakes or we behave badly but we fail right

ld do that is be as authentic as we possibly can be and that also includes Having the courage to sometimes not look so good maybe we make you know we make mistakes or we behave badly but we fail right fail fail fast yeah fall apart our faces you know um I mean as someone who plays guitar and has done it in front of people from time to time I've certainly had the experience of completely falling apart and it's not fun but you know the rule there so to speak the rule is keep going you know don't just like oh man but keep you know kind of get yourself through it you know yeah I messed up all right but just keep moving um it's not denial but it is Having the courage to okay I didn't look so good there I guess you know God forbid what people might think of me you know that kind of thing um it so going back to the subject of wearing a mask if we're terrified of what people might think of us then wearing a mask be very tempting but we pay a big price for doing that absolutely absolutely so let us all have the courage to identify if and when we wear those masks what those masks are and start to remove them uh become naked with ourselves and all the flaws all of the you know the the failures the the ative acts all that we actually overcome and by facing and becoming who we are we actually become better we evolve but with that I want to say thank you Peter for being with me today thanks everyone who's here with us today and I'll see you next time thanks everyone thank you everybody