Ep 74 - Breaking through Barriers to Self Love

hi everyone welcome to the psychology and spirituality a bridge to Better Life discussion I'm your host marcan and with me is my dear friend Dr Susanna simin if this is the first time you're watching this podcast program please note that uh it the psychology and spirituality weekly talks are based on the works by Joanna deangeles and we're here I repeat this every time because it's important we're here to offer safe space to confront compare correlate and expand spirituality Concepts from this psychological lens bringing perhaps insights tips and even real world advice to help you and me lead a better life today Su Simon will share some thoughts around oh ancestral Legacies and How Deeply etched in the very core of ourselves and how they Prevail in our unconscious archives Suz will discuss about how these this you know legacies that we we bring with us are manifested often ascape mechanism and how they oh my goodness conceal our inner conflicts so as such they are transformed into feelings right sus of low self-esteem low self-respect and in fact will lead to state that we're discussing this today this inability to love ourselves that's the whole idea but but Su before we start our conversation I'd like to recognize the organization that is sponsoring this program manelin the United States Spirits Federation the international Spirits Council and a Brazil for all of you who are watching this please make sure you hit subscribe if you haven't done so and of course if you'd like to know more and if you want to check out what other resources are there do so by going to spiritist us if you have any questions ah please please do write them down at the chat window and we will address them if not now in a later episode but hi suzan I just want to tell you I woke up this morning where they it's a quite popular song but this song stuck in my mind and it is of course that John lenon and Paul McCarthy McCarney went with the beos they they talked in all their Glory oh you need is love right

it's a quite popular song but this song stuck in my mind and it is of course that John lenon and Paul McCarthy McCarney went with the beos they they talked in all their Glory oh you need is love right and at one level if you think about the song means that love is the most important thing in the world right but if you start to to to reflecting upon the lyrics Just the lyrics of a very very popular songs of the 60s it also means that love is the one thing that we're mostly lacking the one thing that we don't have so for all of you before I ask Susanna to talk a little bit about love or the lack of love I want to say that the the lyrics go like this love love love there's nothing you can do that can't be done with love of course nothing you can sing that can't be sung love that line nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game it's easy nothing you can make that can't be made no one you can save that can't be saved nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time it's easy All You Need Is Love love is all you need isn't this great Susanna so let's talk today about if love indeed is the most important thing in our lives then why are there so many obstacles to loveing but most importantly we're going to focus today selflove what are your thoughts can you talk a little bit about it please yes good morning Maria good morning to everyone um before we talk um I just want to share that uh the content the ideas that Jan brings to us this morning that is the topic theas is um asking me come from the book Finding peace and health uh and is in chapter three so if you want to further your understanding if you intrigued by the uh Concepts that we are talking about this is the book that you would uh refer to and more specifically chapter 3 um yes I mean love is the base is the essence of our lives right so um if you think about um creation creation is an act of love if you think about who we are we are Divine beings so love is also our Essence and it is our destination the

essence of our lives right so um if you think about um creation creation is an act of love if you think about who we are we are Divine beings so love is also our Essence and it is our destination the ability to fully EXP express love in unconditional ways so whether you're looking at the source at the journey or at the end point it's all about love but but but I want to say it's a it's a journey that is almost like an emotional roller coaster right it's so yeah the thing is that love can be learned so love is um something that we develop that we we we really learn is a virtue that needs to be nurtured and it needs to unfold we have it um in the form of potential but um you know like you mentioned there are obstacles um that appear on the way and in the spirit's perspective thinking of ourselves as Immortal beings who are having many experiences uh within matter we come here so that we can learn we can be tested and the way that God um wanted things to be is that we are created perfect but perfect perfect in the sense that everything that God does is perfect but perfectible in the sense that it is up to us within our uh time within our choices to actually build ourselves and become the gods that we are we all are in potential so this is a beautiful concept right so if you think about it it's perfect but perfectability so there's two areas of who we are and all of it is enveloped with this beautiful notion that from a Source from the creation perspective it's all about love it's with Mercy with love and tolerance and uh understanding there there is a path there's a time right last time we talked about there was this the time that it let's not rush let's let's let's be loving ourselves in our perfectability yeah so that's kind of difficult for us at this moment because we don't always agree with God's plan so God planned that it would be a gradual process of self- construction that at least at this moment of our our Evolution leans on uh trials and errors so to a is to be

't always agree with God's plan so God planned that it would be a gradual process of self- construction that at least at this moment of our our Evolution leans on uh trials and errors so to a is to be human uh and to be human is also a Divine uh state of things our egos have a very difficult time managing this concept so we we seek Perfection because we also seek uh connection we seek um belonging and um so we have we have all those things very tied up to the need to be perfect and so it becomes very distressful when we are not perfect that varies from person to person to a greater or lesser uh extent so the option so let me just before you talk about it because a thought came to my mind as you're speaking um when we talk about those e egoic constructs of who we are and through them we we we have this need and it's quite pressy need right to to be perfect to be the best that we can be to meet the demands of the external very material uh environment that we spiritual Immortal Spirits right Spiritual Beings are inserted in in this material existence uh and there's a disconnect which is what you just said this idea that the the that our ego really pushes us to be this idealized version of who we are the the the the thing that I I just thought that came to my mind is the fact that many discussions we have this idea well let's kill the ego right why can we not just diminish the ego because we are not our egos and it's very interesting to see that no no no right we we do need our construct that the ego Works in each Incarnation each life on a material Dimension to develop our personalities so we are today because of it it but it's this really interesting uh and the best word that comes to my mind almost like a war a conflict of interest if you will uh the interest of the ego to to create that personality that is successful in the material life and the other conflict which is if we buy into it right if we buy into it we are not equipped to do the other side of it and I'm doing a triangle because I always

at is successful in the material life and the other conflict which is if we buy into it right if we buy into it we are not equipped to do the other side of it and I'm doing a triangle because I always see this two slopes the other side of it which is the idea of for us to to grow as a spirit right an evolving spirit for us to grow we need to be authentic we need to individuate which means we need to look into ourselves as our material aspect is not the only one right and the conflicts become from believing that you are just this today not that evolving Majestic if you will being that is cre from Love from God and will be destined to love yeah um the ego is uh often seen and understood as an evil thing when it's really not he's just it's just a psychological stance that manages our Earthly existences and who we are at that present moment the issue is not to have an ego the issue is to align the ego with the self in other words um there's also nothing wrong with the material realm um it has its place it has its purpose is is a tool so um it's just uh the the issue is for the ego to understand to be a good manager and it can be a good manager if it is in connection to the real goals of life not at a cognitive level but at a visual level so it's not enough to know that we are Immortal beings it's you know we can align when we feel and that is so ingrain and so integrated in all levels of our psychic that it makes no no sense to to hurt anyone for example it makes no sense that is visually against our own selves um it works against our own well-being so that's the job I mean that's that's the journey right so the the conflicts are also uh natural they they they are part of the growth process you know to be in conflict is better than not to be in conflict because if you're not in Conflict you likely in denial you're likely asleep so to be in conflict is to be in movement to be in conflict is to be awake and so it's it's you know to to be alive is to Bear some sort of discomfort with just

u likely in denial you're likely asleep so to be in conflict is to be in movement to be in conflict is to be awake and so it's it's you know to to be alive is to Bear some sort of discomfort with just being because that is our current state of um of awareness and in in our existence but you know uh just kind of trying to get back to the the track so we don't devate so much um the the issue is that in this process of trial and errors uh which is the natural process for growth we will make mistakes and so um one of the one of the big hurdles is that we bring in our unconscious a lot of our past uh experiences where we have made mistakes and they are unresolved within us and they um create in the present moment um some manifestations this these conflicts that we are talking about and they're poorly managed by us and they are in our unconscious they express in the present moment in different ways sometimes it is fear sometimes it is uh insecurity sometimes it is um instability and we instead of like facing forward whatever is we tend to escape and we can talk about different ways that J mentions in the book ways in which Escape um and but Escape is always again it's kind of hiding this is masking this conflicts and this state of unresolved things leads to low self-esteem we start disliking and not trusting ourselves and ultimately it will you know have a full expression of um self-hatred or not really liking not really loving ourselves which in itself becomes another error because as we started our conversation everything in life is about love and so when we enter this path of selflove of lack of self-love and self-destruction and self harm you know then we are kind of negatively reinforcing a pattern that's already in itself um unhealthy and can actually become quite pathological yeah and it's important for all of us to know that uh it's almost this pandemic which is that lack of self-love right yeah in every culture in every country and every uh subculture as well uh different age groups different races

all of us to know that uh it's almost this pandemic which is that lack of self-love right yeah in every culture in every country and every uh subculture as well uh different age groups different races different genders we wi this this incredible you know it's really human it's human so it's just uh there's no no borders yeah yeah and but it's it's as I mentioned the pandemic because it's very um everywhere right it has it has that connotation yeah absolutely so it's urgent this conversation is quite urgent to me for us to to to talk about it uh of course you are referencing Jonah D'Angelo's book which is a great book by the way but it's something that whatever we can do to to bring the discussion and what I mean by bringing the discussion is that we there is a little little bit of a in my opinion a little bit of a point Counterpoint for you to go from here to to to the the lack of self-love right so can you can you bring us into that Journey perhaps so yeah I think at the very core and she will mention that in the book is guilt uh guilt as um unresolve experiences that we uh have and the manage of lack of management of guilt so I think that this is really like the gist of um what we need to look at because when we think spiritually about um for example obsessive processes or um psychiatric conditions uh whether we are talking about um uh compulsive disorders or we're talking about something like depression guilt is usually at the very core of these uh situations and um you know it's by the way a multi multifaceted discussion in itself right so it's important that you bring that in yeah and it's it's important uh I think it's uh it's not something we want to eliminate because um you know if you hurt someone if you kill someone and you don't feel G guilt then you social path right yes so that's people who are hurting and they are so so incredibly disconnected in such a pathological way that they don't feel they don't feel remorse because they are severely ill so guilt is important it's a natural

le who are hurting and they are so so incredibly disconnected in such a pathological way that they don't feel they don't feel remorse because they are severely ill so guilt is important it's a natural process that it's kind of a warning it's a kind of alarm that goes in our mind in our conscious that is telling us look this is not working for you this is really not you know the best for you so it's okay um it's it's good it's important to be there the issue is once you realized that that action was not you know in line with love then what's next so what we have been doing and the tendency that we have is to go into a path of remorse and this is a uh where things get uh complicated because remorse Is Anchored in Pride so let me explain con I need I need to really unpack that because I think that's the the gist of this whole idea of guilt and and and lack of self- Love yeah so when you when you enter uh a stage of remorse you will be in a place where most likely you will be saying things like oh my God I should not have done that true oh my God this is this I mean I can't believe I did this you know and and you get caught on this type of thinking and you get stuck on this type of thinking that ultimately what it's saying is this is really not who I am and you it was an accident I'm not even sure how this happened how could I have done that so incon underneath this type of uh Speech is the idea that you were better than that yes and that you could have never done that and that's why remorse is Anchor in Pride because the alternative to that would be to say my god look I am still that person capable of doing something like this right but with remorse you you you you again it's it's like it's inconceivable for you that you are that human right and that you are at that uh place and that's when you know the conflict gets established and you will seek routes to escape and so she talks about uh different ones like self-criticism like self-punishment like self py all ways in

ace and that's when you know the conflict gets established and you will seek routes to escape and so she talks about uh different ones like self-criticism like self-punishment like self py all ways in which you were stuck uh you don't go forward and you don't allow yourself to start again and there is these uh ancestral belief and cultural and religious idea that self-punishment is a way of redemption so I must yeah myself yeah you know I must chastise myself yeah uh in order to because I then and then I I that's all I deserve I don't deserve any better so I'm gon to put myself behind bars and this is historical right yeah so we used to do that literally and you know hit ourselves uh and until we we we blad and we were like wounded um and maybe we don't do that anymore um physically and concretely but emotionally yeah you know a lot of times we are beating ourselves pretty badly bleeding internally bruising our souls to the really convinced that we are like garbage that we don't deserve any better and believing that that place of misery and suffering is what is I don't know it's going to give us some salvation or or it's all that we deserve and so there's a point here too is gonna say that this is extremely extremely pathological yeah but there's also another component right because I I see see the in my mind's eye the idea of you know we're talking about medieval times for example where the self punishment but the that is lingering and it lingers in our Collective unconscious as well as our personal unconscious right this is what we with with that uh that Legacy of our you know previous existence or even this existence as it's it's a reflection of our parents own past but I I think it's important when you when you talk about this bleeding right we used to bleed and was very physical very very and we don't do that anymore um but that internal emotional bleeding right self- torture is also may also lead to physical illnesses right so I think the question of mental emotional and

cal very very and we don't do that anymore um but that internal emotional bleeding right self- torture is also may also lead to physical illnesses right so I think the question of mental emotional and physical health are completely connected this point no yeah absolutely I mean we we we become you know it's an emotional spiritual illness and like you mentioned I mean our entire being is connected so a lot of times the body and will end up we we hurting ourselves in all levels by doing that because this energy of condemnation is um basically communicated to every single cell of our physical body and so it's like a toxic energy um that is running into our system and so it's disorganizing that's the thing you know it's a disorganizing mental state that ends up disorganizing the physical body and a lot of times you will you know um create um different uh types of disorders of Pains of aches of Mal acies and Etc um also it can become so bad that the person um can enter for example in a in a state of self-pity where initially the person may attract people towards her because they they feeling bad for her they wanted to help but eventually she pushes those same folks away because again the person does not believe that she can be helped she does not believe that she's capable so also in this process not only we are immersed in guilt but we also become blind we lose sight of our own capacities of the possibilities and the numerous uh opportunities that life uh gives us to start again to to get out to to move forward and so this process leads to isolation stagnation and when you are stuck and isolated you become a very easy prey for Obsession because you are already in a process of self-obsession correct and then it creates this perfect plug for other spirits who might be in the same uh frequency and I want you to stay like that stagnated isolated you know and and and nonfunctioning and so that's when that's why a lot of times for example uh these uh processes can and are connected with

quency and I want you to stay like that stagnated isolated you know and and and nonfunctioning and so that's when that's why a lot of times for example uh these uh processes can and are connected with depression because depression ultimately um at a spiritual level is uh when you say okay I cannot deal with this so I am going to withdraw myself I am you know I'm I'm not going to play anymore I'm GNA stop this game so the person withdraws from life so to some extent this is one by no means I'm saying this is all I'm just saying that this is an aspect uh that goes into uh depression and that there is a very strong link with what we are talking about which is this this lack of self-love in this um cycle very uh pathological cycle of uh of guilt now look how proud pride is a very strong element of this because if you if you think if you believe that you need to be right at all the time and if errors become unbearable you it's better if you don't leave it's better if you don't play because there is a risk in playing yeah there is a risk in leing you know if you're going to live if you're going to grow you have to using the words of BR Brown you have to enter the arena and entering the arena think of her yeah I was thinking of her exactly entering the arena means taking risks and and and like I remember one of my uh colleagues that she was taking a big exam academically was very important um meant uh achieving another status and she's like I'm not going to tell anyone because what if I don't pass what if you don't pass you try again because it's it's but you know it's like there's Shame Shame may not passing you know but it's difficult exam and and and and you're not less because you didn't pass I mean you have so many different attributes people know your value but that's that's how we operate so so I you know it it can again become serious and lead to depression because it's it's you know it's safer not to play it's safer not to engage because if I don't do anything I'm not going to go forward but

you know it it can again become serious and lead to depression because it's it's you know it's safer not to play it's safer not to engage because if I don't do anything I'm not going to go forward but I'm not going to make any mistakes to in order to make a mistake you got to be engaged but at a further level you can choose to not leave anymore literally and that can be a door to suicide right it can become so so incredibly unbearable the idea that you are a failure right and there and and this lack of perspective there's nothing else you can do you can't get yourself out of it and then you know uh if you don't have any any spiritual background anything that can hold you down then you know you can end up uh it's not conceivable to do this self in in in self- elimination but I wanted to just a parenthesis here to make sure that uh we are both thinking and understanding the the this discussion Susanna if you don't mind um you spoke and I was thinking of her brne brown right she's awesome and so easily digestable concept that she brings and one of the things that she of course that became widely uh popular was her discussion on empathy versus sympathy and and and the the thought that came to my mind if we're still struggling to understanding the definition of empathy right the definition not the the feeling but the definition and the behavior related to empathy and that emotional intelligence that the whole realm of a uh emotional intelligent uh vocabulary and uh understanding how can we even talk about uh me understanding what I don't see clearly about all my feelings one of the things that uh you you you you mentioned here was a relationship with pride and to me I I also call Pride the superiority complex right from a a a psychological term so I am uh embracing this superiority which is feeds my pride my sense of arrogance Etc and when I have to be above everybody else which is also a mechanism of your ego right back to the beginning then I cannot see myself as human as uh potentially failing but

e my sense of arrogance Etc and when I have to be above everybody else which is also a mechanism of your ego right back to the beginning then I cannot see myself as human as uh potentially failing but also potentially feeling aspects that I brought from that uh that uh you know that inherited uh archet archetypical uh uh unconscious that brings with me in my personal conscious that it it's really not conscious so I don't know how to look at myself I don't know how to talk all right I don't have the vocabulary to talk about emotions and feelings and I'm lost so all of it is is is is is quite interesting to me or or or maybe the better word would be complex to me and to most of us but let's let's keep on going because this is a very very interesting topic to me so if you don't mind no yes and I I um you know I think you know kind of going with what you're saying empathy sympathy you know um it kind of takes us to the other route now I think it's kind of it's a hook to take us to in the other direction because the other direction is and what she suggests is that we substitute um resentment for um uh I'm sorry it's not resentment is remorse remorse for regret right so and the difference is that when you regret something you um you you you regret and it's followed by a movement of taking responsibility and it's anchor in humility so humility calls for empathy um and we tend to use this term uh towards others but we have to have empathy towards ourselves in first place um so to be empathic with our own human situation and it's funny because when I was uh uh reading and and reflecting about those things and this is a a very uh day-to-day situation which I really like to um share those things because um I like for the people who listen um whether my lectures or talks always to go away taking something that is extremely concrete that they can relate to talk to that particular experience so I went to teach and um I'm a junk professor at these University so I'm not there all

o go away taking something that is extremely concrete that they can relate to talk to that particular experience so I went to teach and um I'm a junk professor at these University so I'm not there all the time and I was given by a friend of mine a colleague of mine a Seeker for the parking lot but you have to also have your car registered uh with the university which I had done in the past now I knew I knew that that registration needed to be um renew every year but I saw well I have this speaker so I'm GNA Park here and hope that it will be okay and for period of time it was and one day one morning I went to teach three hours that morning and when I came there was a ticket uh on my window and that ticket cost me one hour of my work that morning so I worked three got paid for two because I had to pay for that ticket and I'm driving home and I am thinking to myself okay I have two options here I can go into remorse and drive all the way to my house which was a 45 minute drive thinking oh my God how could I've done that oh my God you know that's just so untypical of me or whatever right or I could have gone into or get stuck into self-criticism I could have done another Escape mechanism which is to criticize the university criticize the system so people who are constantly criticizing others constantly finding problems outside they are escaping of their own Humanity they having a very difficult time and so they they see problems and errors everywhere else right so those are like projections I can project the responsibility to the university and say that they have a flaw system and talk about how unreasonable that is or or yeah I can say to myself this is who I am I am still a person capable of violating the law and that my dear friend is a very very humble experience it's extremely difficult for the ego to say that and the person who steals and the person who is robbing MH is violating the law in the same way they and I we're not that different as I like to think because I am in this

cult for the ego to say that and the person who steals and the person who is robbing MH is violating the law in the same way they and I we're not that different as I like to think because I am in this planet that is a planet of Trials and expiations because I am a spirit who violates the law yeah so first step is the awareness is to say this is who I am painful very painful difficult very difficult you know um but if I don't start from here then I can't grow I can't go forward now what can I do I can say to myself okay so what's the next step The Next Step I will try never again no matter what it is to look for the shortcut for the for the shortcut yeah right or in Portuguese the expression bra where we trying always to go around the law because that's not the ethics and the moral that Jesus came to teach us he said give to Cesar what to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God follow the rules and we learn in this spirit's book that happiness can only be achieved if we follow the natural laws which are the laws that Jesus came to fully exist simplify in words in acts in thoughts in everything so okay so I say so that's me that's still who I am I'm still capable of doing those things but let me take this experience and see if I can learn and see if the next time I will do differently yes it's work I have to call the Universe I have to get into their website I have to register my car sometimes I don't have time you know and I'm like let me try to get away with there I can come up also and and give myself many justifications why I didn't do it but at at the end it was the wrong thing and I'm capable of those things yes and I'm capable of these things so again I can go around and around and around criticizing justifying justifying when we when we catch ourself is justifying take a deep breath and stop just say it say it out loud so you can hear it and then ask yourself okay what's next what am I going to learn from this and try to do different now

h ourself is justifying take a deep breath and stop just say it say it out loud so you can hear it and then ask yourself okay what's next what am I going to learn from this and try to do different now this is what life wants from us this is what the universe expect from us the universe does not function in a basis of punishment yeah the basis of the universe what permeates the universe is love and positivity yes is love and progress so what the universe wants from us or God wants from us what is uh what's going to grant us mental health and spiritual health is the ability to embrace where we are take responsibility but understand that we are also much more than that we have potentialities we have the capability for growth that's what the universe wants the universe doesn't want us to beat ourselves up and to crucify ourselves the universe wants us to move forward to learn to grow so this is a selflove choice one that doesn't move the problem away but creates the perfect psychic environment for growth for True Redemption for true Rehabilitation I love it through healthy and um and positive I'm using the word positive because that's the word that uses in the book yeah POS also yeah one of the things that I I I keep coming in my mind is accountable right as as we grow and and we can uh use the metaphor of a baby a baby that I don't know breaks something is not accountable because it's not able yet to take care of that so when we are through our maturity be it psychological maturity be it just uh uh from our age group on Earth whatever right we become more and more accountable and with accountability means we look at our mistakes inward what did I do right what did I do how can I remediate how can I address the error instead of this introspection of uh whatever defense mechanism may be that no no no I did not do it I'm I'm just an ENT Professor I don't need to be here every day I don't need register uh the car and and just a joke no no yeah no that's exactly it and I save here on my screen

no no I did not do it I'm I'm just an ENT Professor I don't need to be here every day I don't need register uh the car and and just a joke no no yeah no that's exactly it and I save here on my screen here uh a sentence from her that she says the life is a hymn of praise to progress life's values are of a positive nature never manifesting through perturbing or afflictive methods so life is not expecting punishment is not that's that's not it and it's hard because again it's it's ingrain in our psychic this this this this sinful and they you have to pay Even in our spiritual stocks it still comes a lot of times loaded with this idea of like you paying for your DBS no you're not paying for your dads you are learning you are being given opportunities to to do things differently it's not like a payment of a debt it's life's working and saying hey you you messed up here let me let me rearrange the scenario here to create good and in in in an environment that is Rich of sometimes challenges and difficulties but that you know that are going to really Foster your growth and your realignment and and and restore in you your sense of wellbe it's always positive it's always in the sense of like it's always a loving intervention that is seeking to to to tell you about how good you are and your potentials and they you you know you you you you're worth as a human being so it's a very different perspective that um not always we are able to convey I think yet um in these terms you know um yes in our talks and stuff but anyways so that's that's the proposal yes so Joanna says life is a hymn of praise to progress right yes yes so all sing this hymn right which means if we're praising the sense of progress means back to the beginning that we are on this journey to PR perfectability right and I'd say Susan I I think we we mentioned uh earlier somehow that there is this process of self-healing right that for every mistake you unlike the psychopath that has no empathy therefore no guilty conscience

Susan I I think we we mentioned uh earlier somehow that there is this process of self-healing right that for every mistake you unlike the psychopath that has no empathy therefore no guilty conscience right but as as we we have a sense of oh something is wrong I've done it I suffer there is that that that the sense of your soul yourself your inner uh sense of moral compass like oh I I am wrong let us look with regret self-awareness responsibility accountability and go like you said toward Health to be well to be healed and most important loved by yourself does this make sense yeah absolutely so that's the path of selflove right it starts with this um you know you have to Anchor yourself in humbleness like I said is embracing the human in you understanding that this is what God want that's how God wanted so there therefore it is divine in itself nothing wrong with that we will make mistakes uh make no mistake we will make mistakes many mistakes um it's okay I mean as long as we what is self-love okay I embrace who I am and I don't judge myself but I take responsibility and I move right towards um towards fixing towards doing whatever needs to be done towards learning towards reflecting and this is movement so self love means that you create the the situation for you to continue to heal to grow and to move life is movement when you go into self-punishment you are you you stop moving you're stuck so you are denying yourself the conditions for your own happiness because happiness will come with movement with progress life is a hym of praise to progress if you are behind bars or if you stuck in the cross that's it you're not progressing you are condemning yourself to immobility You Were Dying you can be even physically alive but emotionally death dead because you're no longer engaging with life out of Shame out of fear out of self hatred and so you are ill she says um just to um I really like because she talks about the lack of self-love is a behavioral disorder requiring Special Care in order

t of Shame out of fear out of self hatred and so you are ill she says um just to um I really like because she talks about the lack of self-love is a behavioral disorder requiring Special Care in order not to degenerate into self aversion on its way to becoming even more serious conflicts such as self-hatred self- resentment and disinterested for life so that's what we are trying try to avoid uh going uh in the other way uh sometimes we're going to be more successful than other times but I think the first step is to have this awareness and if I would say for people you know what can I take from this just remember that in dealing with guilt there are two paths that you can always choose resentment that's anchored in Pride or regret that's Anchored In Hope Hess so if you feel like you're going through the pathological way you can always take a your turn because at times we're going to beat ourselves we are our our most rigorous judges and and and and and and like I said love is something that we are learning and selflove is part of the learning so it's an exercise sometimes again we're going to do a little better than other times but as long as we have these concept know our minds we can take a uturn and that's that's okay we can take as many u-turns in life as necessary love it and with that I would say we are at time suzan I love this time with you I really appreciate it and for all of you who are here with us today just remember all you need is love and that there's nothing you can do that can't be done through love everyone thank you so much and we'll see you next week bye everyone thank you bye