Ep 156 - Spiritual Self-Esteem: Rediscovering Our Inner Value - pt 2

Hello everyone, welcome to psychology and spirituality a bridge to a better life discussion. Yes, we come week after week to explore this beautiful intersection of psychology and spirituality in the goal with the goal to uncover some beautiful and quite timeless wisdom to help all of us have a better life, have achieve better sense of meaning and purpose. And uh I want to welcome all of you um to another episode. And just to if you don't know me, my name is Marcia Trojano and uh we are here to continue this um this discussion that we started last week. I'm joined by my dear friend and wonderful I I think of you Mahusi as this wonderful thinker. this uh this person who brings so many so many insights to the human problem if you will and she does that with oh clarity warmth and um and her experience. So, Mahusi, I propose today we continue our conversation uh focusing on this um truly in I would say most intimate human experience which is the relationship with ourselves right uh we started with questions like who am I why do I struggle to value myself why does selfc criticism This is important everyone. Selfc criticism we are worst inner critic right feel so relentless day after day and um those questions are indeed more common than we imagine to all of us. So before I ask you to to to talk baluci let's give us uh maybe a minute or two to remind all of you uh of what we discussed last week. So, this is the second part of a two-part uh series. And in the first episode, we explored the foundation of what we call and Marlusi, please correct me if I'm wrong, right? The spiritual self-esteem through the lens of Joanna D'Angelus psychology and uh through the also the lens of spiritist thought. and Malusi and I talked and it was just an amazing conversation, right? We we begin with the essential question of identity. What am I talking about? What did we talk about really? Well, it uh Mlusi brought some insights and clarification to these distinction that is quite profound. The distinction between ego

of identity. What am I talking about? What did we talk about really? Well, it uh Mlusi brought some insights and clarification to these distinction that is quite profound. The distinction between ego and the self. So, Mahuci here reflected on how the ego is a temporary constructed personality. I'm going to be a little bit academic here, but this is to bring us up to to to the moment that we're going to talk further. But, uh this uh personality is temporary as I mentioned and is constructed shaped by what? our culture, our family, our own wounds, our defense mechanism and yes the one that I feel that is the worst of it all the biggest of those uh building blocks the social expectations right where we are inserted culturally and socially and the ego plays a really important role but Malusi brought many beautiful u metaphors right it has this limited perception of reality and yes it often mistakes itself for the whole of who we are. Do you remember that my Lucy? I hope you do. [laughter] So her images I we're talking about Joanna D'Angel's images uh bring us the ego as an island in the ocean or also the gatekeeper of a beautifully vast castle and um it those images helped me and I hoped helped all of you who listened to that episode. I invite all of you to go back to that episode if you haven't. But those images help us to see that the ego indeed our ego is not the center but rather this oh doorway through which the self expresses itself. In contrast, Mahuci also brought the idea of its counterpoint, right? Point counterpoint. I always think of Joanna as this yin and yang point counterpoint. But the counterpoint to that idea is the self. And what is the self? As we brought last time, the self is our immortal divine core. It is the totality of consciousness that number one reincarnates but also learns, evolves, and it remains connected to to God. We could call it the absolute. And when we draw or we drew last week uh uh from the spiritist psychology and from um Leon

one reincarnates but also learns, evolves, and it remains connected to to God. We could call it the absolute. And when we draw or we drew last week uh uh from the spiritist psychology and from um Leon Deni and Yunian thought right Mahalooi we also discussed how remembering this deeper identity help us restore our inner ability or sorry our inner stability right our sense of meaning and even dignity. for all of us. What did we talk about seriously? Well, when we identify only and we're all victims of that, prey of that, we we identify only with roles, appearances, success, yes, youth, and I'm failing at that by the way. And speaking of failing, failure self-esteem which is the topic of today becomes quite fragile. When we identify with the self then that sense of worth becomes intrinsic. It becomes easy. It becomes omnipresent if you will. So we also explored Mahus and I'm I'm speaking to you and to our viewers today our audience right? We we also touch based on the origins of spiritual self-esteem and uh Mahooi emphasized that our value does not come from achievements of external validation anymore but from our divine origin as children of God and co-creators of our own destiny. So when we look at that and we look at the concept of reincarnation, it really is this bridge uh a bridge of meaning because it offers a compassionate framework and help us understand our recurring patterns. Also it help us understand our talents, our fears, our struggles and um relieves somehow the pressure to be and I'm going to say air quote here to be perfect in a single lifetime. So we ended with some psychological distortions that uh can erode self-esteem and they are found again in fear but also when we compare ourselves with the other right Mahuzi uh in the the society that we are immersed and we're talking about uh yes 21st century really brought this the the the highest degree as we know today of social media and the vehicles by which it's very present. I'm going to show my mobile device here where comparison

h yes 21st century really brought this the the the highest degree as we know today of social media and the vehicles by which it's very present. I'm going to show my mobile device here where comparison and uh comparison to a a target that is completely and mostly unachievable. So it's a target of being perfect and with that the inability to to um to achieve that level of perfection whatever that may be usually it is a photo which means it's all superficial it's material right but then we fall into this uh terrible sense of shame and welcome we open the door to a relentless inner critic. So anyways, I talked too much. Uh let's go ahead and continue conversation, Malus, because the first episode really laid the groundwork for what would I would like to propose today, which is go deeper and perhaps Mahuci explore how healing unfolds when we practice what we need, right? What we need to to feel better. And that is uh expressed with compassion replacing self- judgment. And that spiritual self-esteem then becomes a lived and shared experience, not just a concept, a theoretical concept. So Mahusi, it is up to you. Do you have any additional thoughts to what we talked before or should we start straight into the continuation of our discussion? Uh thank you Marcia for this invitation and to continue our conversation and when you were talking I was uh I remember the first time that I I was not a psychologist on that time and the first time I started to read this uh I don't know in has an English translation circient >> yeah it I don't believe it does I I have it in Portuguese as well the the conscious being would little translating to to the title. Yeah. of Joanna Angel, the spirit of Joanna Angel writing through Givald Franco and uh this so uh she started to to bring this this concept ego self and things and I this had a huge impact on me because I never heard about that what is this spirit this woman is talking about that's something that causing a very huge impact on my soul and so I realized some

s and I this had a huge impact on me because I never heard about that what is this spirit this woman is talking about that's something that causing a very huge impact on my soul and so I realized some years later. So this was the first impression I had so many concepts that you start talking today. It seems a very a lot of but in fact what I understood after all is that Joanna is trying to help us >> to find out this uh how to understand a kind of map of our soul. You know, I love that each of us, each of us has a map. >> So, we look this map, but we we don't we don't realize uh really where we are, where we want to go, what this place means in my psychological life. So, when he brings this kind of concept as ego, as self, as psyche, how is this dynamic that uh functions inside us? In fact, if I can bring another image to help us here. Yeah, we are trying to discover this map, >> you know, because we our ego and when we are discover this map, this is developing our self-esteem. So we are discovering new places, new because we can go to a same place many times >> and have no kind of a different experience. But sometimes when we understand the history that is in this place, what mean? What happened there? So I go to the same place but I have another a different perception. And this is happening with us all the time. This is how our self-esteem is um constituted is >> constituted, right? What was it made of? Yeah. Yeah. >> Sorry, my English. >> It's okay. It's your second language and I admire you for that. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> So, so this is important for us. >> Yeah. >> And many times we suffer because we don't understand this map. Yeah. >> So, we are so focused in going to somewhere that because the road say you you must go to there. This is very >> must turn right and you're like no it doesn't feel because I've been there before and I have to tell you M Lucy uh I was just talking to someone this is you know just is my thought process here. uh I was talking about a conflict

ike no it doesn't feel because I've been there before and I have to tell you M Lucy uh I was just talking to someone this is you know just is my thought process here. uh I was talking about a conflict that I'm was express I was going through right a very deep deeply hurtful conflict with a person right and this person knows me practically my whole life and she said there you go again oh there you go again you keep repeating the same type of conflict And and I and I what you're saying really resonates to me this once you know the map and you see that turning right as the map tells us is really to actually revisit something that has not been resolved. It makes so much more sense. So it's no longer there I go again. I have not learned my lesson. No, let's be kind to ourselves. And look, I still need to exercise something within me that the conflict is the the trigger point for us to suffer or whatever it is that that comes to us. But go ahead. I I I interrupted you. No no this is this is very important because uh our life we when we are thinking about how we became nature human being in terms of psychological terms you know yeah is this this capacity that we we have to deal with this conflicts with this so we want to go to to some place but there are many obstacles over there so what can we do we can recalculate the route Yeah, >> sometimes you have to go back to come back >> and check what I I left there. So this is a process you know and but we can feel for for that we fail because we are doing this or we can feel no I'm looking in a different way for this experience and most of the time near said these patterns that you were talking about are um leading our life >> give us and we don't realize >> so when can we realize that we are being moved by old patterns that we don't need anymore when when suffers comes. >> Yeah. >> But we must have this posture, you know, to pay attention to look at ourselves, to look at our emotions >> and and this we must do with love, with

n't need anymore when when suffers comes. >> Yeah. >> But we must have this posture, you know, to pay attention to look at ourselves, to look at our emotions >> and and this we must do with love, with care, you know, not in a in a way that with judgment. No, we are here to learn. And this does not mean I don't know how to say it in English, but in Portuguese we say this does not mean >> Yeah. Yeah. And I'm I'm I'm now thinking what would be the equivalent in English. But uh what Maluse is trying to to to really say is to overlook the the errors, right? The mistakes. You you just like, "Oh, it's okay." No, it's not okay. There was a mistake. But uh with love right what did we learn from this mistake and how do we learn you know mahusi what comes to my mind another image um on on what you exactly what you're saying uh when we realize that we are reliving those old patterns me with my conflicting [laughter] uh uh uh relationship with different people that it's you know several times in my whole lifetime or not there is something there but let's do that with care with love and the image that came to my mind mahus is how we treat our young children >> right when they're learning which is vital for them to learn um to move right the muscle [snorts] muscles need to be developed and they start to crawl ball and in crawling they are uh learning um from a neurological perspective movement the ability to do things but also of course strengthening those muscles until they start to get to a sense of balance but boom they come back they fall they go they go back to crawling until they're there again. But a a a mother and a father whatever is your role when you see the child doing those uh uh beginning of those movement is with care and love we see not with judgment right we we don't see like oh you fell again no you fell again are you okay and I think maybe that's what we need to do Marcia I'm going to be pretend that this is the person that noticed that I was reliving an old pattern Marcia are you

l again no you fell again are you okay and I think maybe that's what we need to do Marcia I'm going to be pretend that this is the person that noticed that I was reliving an old pattern Marcia are you okay? How does it make you feel? What have we learned from before? What can you do perhaps to overcome the obstacle, emotional obstacle, psychological obstacle, etc. that this conflict is leading you to to suffer, right? I this Marca makes me think that Jesus >> in that book I don't know if it's there is an English translator as well Abuanova >> yeah the good news it has recently been published and it's amazing in both Portuguese and English >> I think there was a moment where Jesus says to Peter Peter love what today I want to say a lot of words that I don't know in English. Could you please translate it? >> Yeah. The love cannot What is it? Right. It's a um love cannot uh be before truth, right? >> Well, love needs truth. >> Yeah. >> You know, we cannot outside of truth. Yeah. >> We cannot love without face the truth. >> Yeah. Yeah. So but there is a love way to face the truth you know. >> Yeah. This is why Joanna says in that book that I refer the conscience being that this conscience being does not judge himself, >> does not justify himself you know does not uh blame himself or inflict guilt in himself but he discovers himself. >> Ah beautiful. Yeah. So no blame, no guilt, no judgment. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Okay. >> Ah, love it. >> So what this is to discover ourselves. This is a a life process. >> Yeah. >> Is to deal with this map that we received when we uh we came to this life and re with the reincarnation, you know. >> And we are always choosing ways. Some many times we we will choose not the the best way and that's okay because this is the way we learn. >> Yeah. >> In this level of evolution that we are here. >> Yeah. So if you go back to what uh you brought forth last week, right, with the the difference in the in the dynamic relationship between the psyche, the

n this level of evolution that we are here. >> Yeah. So if you go back to what uh you brought forth last week, right, with the the difference in the in the dynamic relationship between the psyche, the ego, the self, right? Yeah. >> Um if you think about egobased self-esteem is is one that depends intrinsically on external factors. uh I mentioned even before success, approval, appearance, productivity even right I can only and this is it it comes very strong to me um as uh in my own aging um experience where you know talking about retirement and what about my entire identity focused on production a societal production so even that productivity youth etc Um and and it's very interesting because uh that uh spiritual self-esteem as you mentioned is really rooted in being right and this is something that Jonah the Angels brings a lot to us right it self-esteem rooted in being not in doing or even having and to do that it we we must become um I I don't know if the best word would be centered but very aware uh and able courageous even to recognize myself all of us as a spiritual being in evolution. So um in in response to this thought process, many of us feel inadequate even even when everything seems right on the outside, right? I and I know that and I keep thinking of uh Musi. This is when I was quite young and uh uh it was I was in college and uh uh we were in a circle right with a with this college professor and he was talking about how we're feeling. It was really interesting. He was actually teaching about uh uh meditation and how to to deal with the pressure of uh college in in by being connected. And there comes the worst of the students was suffering the most at the time. Oh my goodness. This is 40 years ago. Um, this beautiful M Lucy, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life. And she was beautiful. She was tall. She was elegant, completely quafted and and dressed and and she in my mind's eye, right? She had it all. and she felt so inadequate. So even with

seen in my life. And she was beautiful. She was tall. She was elegant, completely quafted and and dressed and and she in my mind's eye, right? She had it all. and she felt so inadequate. So even with the if you if you're not you know if you fall or not in the trappings of society of perfection even that even when you have it all you may I may you may feel in you know something is not quite right and something is is needs to be uh wrong uh it's not right it's wrong so we need to write ourselves so I just wanted to maybe when we could talk a little bit about uh uh the self-rejection. Do you know what I'm talking about? Right. If if if we're here to learn, this journey is really a journey of learning of understanding our patterns, right? Our repeated or not uh patterns. They're not random. They are very specific. We need to go through that. But uh how how come Mahaluci we we face so much self-rejections? Can we talk about maybe I I think you talked about the self-discovery with no blame, no judgment, no guilt. Can we talk perhaps even about that unconscious guilt that we may have? >> You are bringing a lot of complex [laughter] aspect. Oh my goodness. >> Incarnation here. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> First of all, what comes to my mind is that every experience we live here is very important to our spirit. So for example, you talked about uh external achievements, you know, what the role demands from us. This is very important because this says you can do this. But the point is that when we put much more attention or put all the attention on this and so we live in a uh with this external demands but there is something inside us our soul saying there is your life is much more than this. So at the eyes of the world I can have everything that is considered a success you know I can have this beauty I can have intelligence I can have money I can have power but my soul are not worried about that these are just experience you know that I have to what to make me get in contact with my inner potentialities.

ave intelligence I can have money I can have power but my soul are not worried about that these are just experience you know that I have to what to make me get in contact with my inner potentialities. >> Yeah. So when we reincarnation here we brings a lot of things that are in our unconsciousness as we were talking about last week and many of us brings a lot of guilty in this unconsciousness. Why? Even if our ego our conscience here now does not remind exactly or remembers exactly uh what we did. We have this feeling and this uh exerts some pressure in our conscience. >> That's true. >> We must this is part of this map you know that we are dealing with. So I I if I pay I said ah now I'm feeling this guilty why where this coming from >> I separate myself from this guilty and I can so deal with this is a a gold rule in psychological as >> everything that is uh when I mixed with something I do not have the tools to deal with. >> I see. So you know this is when I start to asking who in myself which part of myself is feeling this guilty or is feeling that is inadequate or is not. So I can deal with ah yes this is because we are not a block you know we have many aspects in us >> because our evolution is not something >> yeah it's not a straight line right it's it's it's curved with detours yeah >> so some parts of me are okay with this self-esteem other parts not So I have parts of me that are very mature. The others that we are in the like child. >> Yeah. In our in in our psychological uh um infancy if you will, right? It's like oh we're babies here and quite mature there. I love that. Yeah. >> Uhhuh. So we can think about for in our emotions are very important as um as I I this is not the best world word you know but I like to see the emotions uh as symptoms what is happening inside here. >> Yeah. You know, for example, fear. If you if we're talking about fear, every everybody feels fear, you know. >> Yeah. >> You know, first fear is a very important emotion in our evolution. Why?

ere. >> Yeah. You know, for example, fear. If you if we're talking about fear, every everybody feels fear, you know. >> Yeah. >> You know, first fear is a very important emotion in our evolution. Why? >> Correct. >> Because it prevents us to put our our life in danger. >> But there is h fears that are not helping us today, you know. So this fear that we feel that people will not love us, will not accept us for what we are, this fear to commit, to make mistakes. >> So we have to be to begin to question these fears. >> Yeah. >> You know, >> yeah. So just just to make sure that I I understand, right? uh and and you alerted us emotions we can look at it as uh symptoms to what what parts of us are need to be comforted at a minimum right that need to be looked at and and brought brought forth a wound if you will. So from that perspective, emotions can be seen as symptoms. Uh just for this discussion here and the example of fear and I love fear because uh in in I would say um right animals uh without fears there would not be enough giraffes or gazels etc. Right? They're a a an animal that collectively uh behave to with fear to dictate what to do to avoid being eaten, attacked by lions, etc., etc. So fear good is good. It is a necessary defense mechanism. But in our society today and we're talking about today 21st century with so many uh technological and even uh pedagogical right intellectual achievements of mankind. Um why are fears for example and you mentioned rejection, perfectionism really uh instead of helping us um blocking us from from growing >> because this fear comes from this ego perspective. Ah I see >> you know so many so fear is an emotion the first emotion that human being has the angel we understand in this way >> but this fear we are talking about here is when this has this comes from the way I I get in touch with the reality. So this fear is subjective. >> Yeah. Yeah. I would say subjectivized, right? So it's it's objective way instead of objective way of looking into

s comes from the way I I get in touch with the reality. So this fear is subjective. >> Yeah. Yeah. I would say subjectivized, right? So it's it's objective way instead of objective way of looking into these fears. So I I for example I can have a a fear that this comes from my um family my education or even this uh contents that I have inside that life is too dangerous. >> Yeah. >> You know so this is a way this is a lens like a glass that I >> Yeah. >> I I perceive reality. >> Yeah. So this will prevent >> me to have experience and to that are very important to my spirit. So sometimes our self our our true self you know spirit wants to leave different experience and our ego is blocking this. >> I see >> how do we do this? This is why we we should question ourselves >> you know. So for example, a very common fear now to speak in public as I'm doing here. [laughter] Okay. >> But I I I face it every single time. Yes. >> Every time we face it and this is one point we have to face it. That's okay. We have this fear you know I I fear here to make mistakes and I will make mistakes you know. >> Yes. But what is moving us to be here >> is an a very deep purpose you know because we are talking about things that have very importance in our lives has meaning. So many times we are able to overcome this fear because we can find a deep purpose a meaning of this experience. >> Yeah. So in this our self our spirit is saying is guiding out this ego and this is the relationship between ego and self you know and say go there try yourself I will be here helping you >> you know m my lucy um my thought that came to mind and I would love for you to correct me if I'm in the wrong way to perceive could we say uh fear as a symptom I I love the concept, right? Uh and um and then then you bring back to if if it comes from the ego, then I we should all think about well is is is fear as a defense mechanism helping me or blocking me from moving? And what comes to my mind as a as a similar love to hear from

f it comes from the ego, then I we should all think about well is is is fear as a defense mechanism helping me or blocking me from moving? And what comes to my mind as a as a similar love to hear from you is perhaps um stress right uh we all go through stress uh in life uh especially with the pressures to perform to produce to to be to do something and uh if you look uh from a um is it helping me or is it blocking uh I would say if I'm going to do an exam a certification uh exam. Let's say I want to be I'm not but I'm going to be certified in whatever profession and the the professional board requires us to demonstrate that we know so that you can perform but without the stress of getting ready in the situation that is quite important. I love the word that you said. This is something that we deem as an important aspect of our lives. Without that stress to not perform, we would not study and prepare, right? So the the closest we are and I I see as a triangle almost as a mountain, the closer we are to we are to that uh uh day of the exam for example, uh the the the more stressed we are. And boom, we we do the the the exam. We may pass, we may fail, it doesn't matter. But if [snorts] we kept going, at some point the stress is is a dimminitive return, right? Diminishing return. You start to get stressed and get less out of the I need to study, I need to study, I need to prepare that the stress is there and it becomes a negative. And I keep thinking perhaps uh I'd love to to hear from you that fears are there like stress is good because it's leading to a certain type of behavior right to protect yourself etc. But if the fear continues to grow beyond the need to protect yourself for example then it becomes almost pathological diminishing return from the fear to the point that what you said public speaking oh I'm nervous so for me to to diminish my nervousness of coming from fear of public speaking I'm going to prepare I'm going to read I'm going a study I'm going to to do even meditation

ublic speaking oh I'm nervous so for me to to diminish my nervousness of coming from fear of public speaking I'm going to prepare I'm going to read I'm going a study I'm going to to do even meditation techniques, visualization, whatever it is that I need to be better or ease those fears of public speaking just as an example. But if I don't uh and I continue then at the moment of being in front of a public or a camera or whatever is the channel then I'm paralyzed. most likely I'm unable to perform which means it is blocking us from getting to the point that we need to be. Does this make sense? >> Yes, sure. Because uh the the great point is not to deny our emotions is how we deal with them. >> You know, every emotion has a purpose. >> Yeah. But the point is that this is this is the difficult this is why the angel help us when when she talks about egon and self you know and I I I remember now when Jesus said a very wonderful psychological teaching when he said >> yeah my I I have a my the burden is is really is light it's not too heavy for all of Yeah. Yeah. >> So why this this is a psychological teaching you know >> we have to face many things that are really difficult for example to go to an exam we study we want this is very important to us. >> So we must put our effort on this the point. Yeah >> this is a burden. Okay. >> Yeah. But if I so I do what I can do what is in my hands to do. So this is the ability the ego to feels comfortable and and feel and connect with humble you know. >> Yeah. >> Instead I can go until there over there it's it's not me. >> So I can rely on this self this spirit. So I do all I can do you know and if it's I will pass in this exam okay if not there is a purpose for this. >> So this is the balance this is our part this is why some uh philosophy says that God needs man >> also you know to be here. So I I can do what belongs to man parts not what belongs to God. And we became too stressed because we want to behave like gods. >> Yeah. I love it. I love it.

d needs man >> also you know to be here. So I I can do what belongs to man parts not what belongs to God. And we became too stressed because we want to behave like gods. >> Yeah. I love it. I love it. >> So you know we go beyond the point the the >> Yeah. >> So this is how to how to balance it. I do what belongs to me and I give to God what belongs to God. So >> you know this is a mix of effort and trust. >> Yeah. >> This is because Jesus said the burden is light. >> Light. Yeah. You can do it. We all can do it. >> Do what belongs to you. >> Yeah. So so when we think about just to to start to uh wrap up our discussion here, right? Uh the sense of self-rejection um often comes or arises from that unconscious guilt. And it's okay for us not we the map that you talked about. We need to understand right compartmentalized this immature or or whatever that compartment holds guilt and let's look into that that it may be a past experience or maybe linked to musi like moral perfectionism or even in in the the belief in reincarnation a an event that belongs to past life. So when we look into that you know when that just we in touch with that vague feeling that something is wrong let's look with care with love why and and start to to look at the purposeful uh in the map uh and I love it you brought it up the exempt from ego self the ego pushes us to prepare to pass the exam it's a material aspect of our lives but we may not pass the exam even with all the preparation because from an ego perspective there's a lesson in there maybe it is humility as you mentioned but it may be uh something else that we need to to fail I I I often think of uh re if you will right a reversals of fortune or a uh I'm an athlete and I eat everything well you I'm just really I take care of this temple that is my body and yet I become a victim of a terminal uh illness or a condition that is really difficult for me without everything that I've done and I still do that maybe it's because the ego is pushing us to go

y and yet I become a victim of a terminal uh illness or a condition that is really difficult for me without everything that I've done and I still do that maybe it's because the ego is pushing us to go through something within that experience so the lesson here is self-love, self-compassion uh to all of us, right? But I wanted to um Mahuci before [laughter] before we say goodbye for today, maybe you can talk a little bit about the that presence of the inner critic as part of uh uh ego in this ego survival mode, right? Because uh Joanna when she talks about um self-esteem uh she really describes that inner critic as as that uh so on one hand fear our fear says I'm not safe I need to do something and uh we can look at the lack of safety as our inner critic saying I'm not enough, right? Uh maybe uh my inner critic coming stemming from my desire to be God, to be perfect, right? As in uh I'm there's something wrong with me. I indeed uh I I am ashamed or I must have a flaw that uh I nobody can love me because there's a flaw within me. So that inner critic those inner critic voices um especially if they're not listened objectively like you said the subjective objective view of those inner critic it they can become quite powerful and really become the biggest obstacles to our growth especially related to self-esteem. Can we talk about it to wrap it up our conversation today if you don't mind? >> This inner critic the our voice this voices are very dangerous in our process. >> Yeah. >> Because um uh it's another topic that we could talk but it's difficult for us to love ourselves as we are. >> Yeah. And what we are we are beings human beings there in a process to become more consciousness of things. >> Yeah. you know so um we have to pay attention on this this this happened this is very important and Marcia when this voices come in and saying things like you are not good enough >> we can uh give a give another perspective you know who is this voice that is talking to me >> you know and not identify ourselves with

voices come in and saying things like you are not good enough >> we can uh give a give another perspective you know who is this voice that is talking to me >> you know and not identify ourselves with this >> you know And this is the the the because ego feels uh very insecure and we have an ideal and he has an ideal of how to be you know but between the ideal and the reality there is a gap. >> Yeah. >> You know the ideal is is is important. It's just a a a white perspective but it's not the we have to deal with this reality. So ego must be able to deal with frustration. Yes, you are not the person you'd like to be >> and that's okay. And that's okay. >> Yeah. I keep thinking that uh it's a target, right? Maybe that idealized version of ourselves >> uh is the target. We should all strive to be there, right? Going back to the analogy of the stress that we feel when we do an exam. without stress what would we do nothing >> no I don't want to study I don't want to read I want to to do everything as normal uh so without the stress that comes to us that feeling the discomfort we would not stop doing certain things to prepare so that we can achieve whatever we're doing so let's think about that as the ideal maybe like those of us who've played with I don't um you know uh bow and arrow. Um if you if you if you if you're shooting an arrow to a target or any type of sport that uh you have a target the center and you need to hit there and often times you won't but it takes practice to be able to one day get to the ideal target the ideal state that we need to be. So I think um Mahusi it is almost as if um the the process of practicing to achieve the targeted ideal state if you will. It's also about uh self-acceptance not as h I don't care or indulgent right I I I don't need to do this because all is good >> but if we can think about this compassionate realism right which is a a state of recognizing where we are in our state of evolution if I am a one year old and I'm still struggling with balance,

ood >> but if we can think about this compassionate realism right which is a a state of recognizing where we are in our state of evolution if I am a one year old and I'm still struggling with balance, one step is a great outcome versus if I am a a dancer that uh is looking for I don't know uh gold medal in Olympics of this type of dance uh that falling becomes one step is not enough right so it's that where are we in our journey and being good to ourselves accept so instead of What's wrong with me? Let us all ask what in me is asking me to love and to heal >> and to be responsible for us. >> Yeah. >> You know, this is the great point. I must take responsibility for my life and that's okay. You know, >> so I am not a victim. I I I can God trusts us, you know, >> this is this is when we don't believe in it. >> Yeah. >> You know, so let's take responsibility for our lives but in a light way, you know, without a burden >> and recognizing this demands us the ego to be humble, you know, to be patient and said, "Okay, that's okay. You made this huge mistake today. Let's start again, you know, let's refract on this mistake. Let's look in this map of our soul and say, well, you are there and you'd like to rapidly go over there. No, you cannot do this. You must do it slowly, you know. >> Yeah. >> And that's I love it. Yeah. >> Yes. And and we are not alone here because the self perspectives, the self-esteem that comes from our spirit says we are not alone, you know. >> Absolutely. Invisible friends. Invisible friends helping us helping us. We have friends here in this incarnation. >> Yes. Yes. Yeah. They're here to support us. But Lucy, we have to stop our conversation today. There here comes an invitation for us to to come back when you have a chance to to continue. This is beautiful. I I really appreciate it. And maybe we can close with a thought that um we talked a lot about uh fears and and self-rejection that leads to a lower self-esteem and let's look at at it not as a personal oh what can I say

te it. And maybe we can close with a thought that um we talked a lot about uh fears and and self-rejection that leads to a lower self-esteem and let's look at at it not as a personal oh what can I say defect a flaw but uh more of as a misunderstanding of our own identity. What we are talking about here is how we often confuse because it's easier to see from a material lens, right? And we confuse the ego with the selfdrivers. So let's just do this. Let's remember who we truly are, but of course look at the map and not only who we truly are, but where we are in relationship to where we need to go, what we want to go, right? So, let us look for opportunities to heal, to recharge our gas. If you're driving a car to to where you need to be and rest and refuel and heal, if you will, gently, progressively, naturally, so that we can understand that the more we explore our uh with awareness, right, that where we are today in this map. Um then it uh we we achieve peace, we achieve meaning through daily choices, through emotional regulation ah forgiveness, forgiving ourselves and the other and of course having a habits that are quite conscious because uh uh that the spiritual self-esteem cannot be built overnight, right? It is done every single time we choose truth, right? We talk about love cannot exist without truth. Truth over selfjudgment. Mahusi, thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate our conversations. And for all of you, if this is the first time you're listening to our program, we in the psychology and spirituality uh program, we offer weekly talks, all of them uh stemming from teachings, the works by Joanna D'Angelus. And uh I hope you gain as many insights as I have from our conversations today. Thank you, Mahusi. Thank you all of you. And thank you our sponsors Masandu Camino, the United States Spiritist Federation, the International Spiritist Council and Brazil. I always like to reference what is Brazil. It's the Brazilian arm of the International Medical Spiritist

Camino, the United States Spiritist Federation, the International Spiritist Council and Brazil. I always like to reference what is Brazil. It's the Brazilian arm of the International Medical Spiritist Association. So long everyone and see you next week. Bye Musi. Bye bye. Thank you Marcia.